IT jokes
I was doing a magic show. I tried to make a bunny disappear, but it didn’t work.
I walked outside in shame. I looked up and realised the towers had disappeared!!!!
What's pink, red, and silver and bumps into walls?
A baby with forks in its eyes.
If you have emo grass and don't pay attention to it, it will cut itself.
Why didn't the orphans stay at the park for days? Because they had no one to pick them up.
What's an orphan's best friend? A boomerang because it's the only thing that ever came back.
Suicide isn't funny, but you can spice it up by wearing a fun hat.
How did 10 die?
Because it was in between 9 and 11.
Friend: How's it going?
Me: Good, things are good!
Parent: How are you?
Me: Oh, I'm fine!
Twitter: Compose new tweet?
Me: Hellooooo, I would like to tell you about my anxiety & my current greatest fears & let's talk about the impending apocalypse while we're at it.
Why can't an orphan build a website? Because it won't have a homepage.
You know, having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!
Your hairline is so [bad] Will Smith can't slap it back in place.
Why do orphans play tennis?
Because it's the only love they get.
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.
After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.
“Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The bartender yells out.
The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”
This guy came into my library a year ago and borrowed a book named "How to Commit Suicide." He never returned it.
What did the evil chicken lay? Deviled eggs! Get it guys? "Devil-ed" eggs! 😆
I made a page for this orphan, but sadly it didn’t have a homepage.
If you think about it, the 9/11 memorial is literally just a scoreboard.
First date be like:
Me: "I work with animals every day."
Her: "Oh, how sweet! What is it exactly that you do with them?"
Me: "I'm a butcher."
If you drop something, make your short friend get it.
I gave a gun to a blind person and told them it was a hair dryer.
6, 7, and 8 are all scared of 10, but 10 is also scared. Why was 10 scared?
Because it was stuck between 9 and 11.