IT jokes
How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They just hold it in the socket and expect the world to revolve around them.
If a homeschooled kid kills his parents, is it considered a school shooting?
I hate jokes about 9/11... every joke has the tendency to crash and burn.
"I didn't get the joke at first, but then it hit me like a plane," the joke was so dark a cop almost shot it.
Why did the orphan get an iPhone X for his birthday?
Because it has no home button.
Why do Emos love Christmas? So they can pretend they're ornaments and hang themselves on trees. Hope you liked it, happy holidays!
In honor of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as other establishments, are introducing the Jackson dog. It's a 50 year old sausage between two 7 year old buns, with everything on it.
If you really think about it, every market in Africa is a black market.
Imagine getting a call and it says, "Welcome to David's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may we help you?"
When I see lovers' names carved on a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.
What do orphans, parents, and trees have in common? They leafed.
Your mom is so slow, it took her 9 months to make a joke.
Once an orphan got a girlfriend. He regretted it. She left him too.
School was fun, but it was hard, almost like riding a bike that’s on fire and the grounds on fire and everything’s on fire because it’s hell.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't make it to home.
My mum once told me, "How do you spell Mississippi?" and I said, "Misisipi." But she said, "No, it goes mi-ss-i-ss-pp-i," and I laughed when she said "pp." Then she said, "Why are you laughing?" I tried saying, "You said pp," but I was laughing too hard.
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what she's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!
Life is like a film; it goes on, but you can cut at any time.
I was playing football with my friends, and I got tackled and got a penalty. Suddenly, the ground started shaking, and Penaldo emerged from the mud. He took the penalty, but since it wasn't Andorra, he missed. Shame on you, Penaldo!
I was tickling my step brother's balls, and then it hit me: why is he laughing?
What 7 letters do you say when you open the fridge and see it’s empty?
O I C U R M T