IT jokes
I went to the zoo the other day. The only animal there was a dog. It was a Shih-tzu (shit zoo).
Did you hear about the gays that had a baby? It was a little shit
Hairy vagina is like sweets with the wrapper on. You don't like it, but you still eat it.
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar. The man orders a beer, one for him and one for the giraffe.
After they finish their drinks, the giraffe falls over, and the man gets his stuff and heads for the door.
The bartender says, "Stop! You can't leave that thing lying on the floor!"
The man says, "Mate, that's not a lion, it's a giraffe."
How do you boil holy water?... You boil the hell out of it!
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
So, you wanna hear a joke about the wall?
... Actually, nah, you won't get over it.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
Well, it's not 8 because my basement is still dark.
How is spinach like anal sex?
If you were forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It doesn't matter, he's dead.
If a king farts, is it a noble gas?
How did I know where you would go next?
Oh, I felt it in my bones!
What do skeletons hate the most about wind?
Nothing, it goes right through them.
What's the difference between a baby and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't scream when I put my meat in it.
I saw my sister masturbating with a carrot. I said, "Come on, I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like carrots!"
I was going to tell you a cow joke...
But it's pasture bed time.
How long does it take to blow up a baby in the microwave?
I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate...
The sky never changes color, but when it does, we know how your breath is increasing.
When is a door not a door? When it's ajar.
When is a car not a car? When it turns into a driveway. 🥁