IT jokes

Candy

2 views ·

One day, Johnny told his dad that a girl in his class liked him. He thought she was cute. She said, "Aw, you're like candy!" He didn't say anything. He said, "Why don't you think I am sweet like candy?" Little Johnny said, "Well, sometimes I get a toothache, and it hurts, so I stop eating it, like I stopped liking you."

Idiot

269 views ·

Sorry, I don't have a joke here... Just wondering how idiots end up here complaining about offensive jokes when you ended up here. You had to click that section on purpose, right? If you can't take it, piss the fuck off... If I'd be gay and I'd look up gay jokes and get offended... how stupid is that?

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  • Psychic

    7 views ·

    Went to see a psychic the other day.

    I knocked on the door, and she said, "Who is it?"

    So I turned around and left.

    Covid

    380 views ·

    My brother caught Covid last month.

    First I knew about it was when he speed-dialled me at 3am and gasped, "I can't breathe, I can't breathe!"

    I just told him straight: "Bro... you really need to work on your George Floyd jokes."

    Condom

    30 views ·

    Two brothers play on the street. One of them finds a condom on the ground. Not knowing what it is, they go to their mum and ask what it is that they found. Mum gets mad and yells to throw that away immediately.

    Guys go back to the yard, surprised why their mum got mad for just latex. One of them says: "Why did mum get so angry?" The other: "I have no idea, thankfully we did not tell her that we've eaten the yogurt inside!"

    Facebook status

    I hate it when couples get into a little fight and they change their Facebook status to "single." I have fights with my parents, but I don't change my Facebook status to "orphan."

    Ad

    16 views ·

    Have you ever seen that weird ad that pops up at the bottom: sexy Russian babes looking for men older than 30, and they're 18, so is it a reverse pedo? Oh well.

    Orphan

    1 view ·

    Why can't orphans become famous?

    Because it will become easier for Technoblade to track them down.

    Vagina

    365 views ·

    So I ran into a woman the other day who says her vaginas is like a lottery ticket. She said it's because you have to be lucky to hit it... I thought it's because she was always scratching it.