IT jokes
Why do Black people go to a confession stand at the Catholic Church?
They wanna know what it’s like to speak to a father.
Why can’t orphans have phones?
Because it has a home button!
Why can’t orphans have phones?
Because it has a home button.
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
Being the first to move in chess.
It’s a white privilege.
If at first you don't succeed, blame it on the patriarchy.
Unfortunately, NASCAR has been canceled.
The woke people heard that it was a human traffic ring.
Why is it a bad idea to eat a clock? Because it's so time-consuming.
Why did the Invisible Man turn down a job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.
I was excited to hear Apple might start selling its own cars until I learned they wouldn’t support Windows.
Today I'm attaching a light to the ceiling, but I'm afraid I'll probably screw it up.
I hate it when people say age is only a number. Age is clearly a word.
I hate my job—all I do is crush cans all day. It’s soda pressing.
Why is it so cheap to throw a party at a haunted house? Because the ghosts bring all the boos.
Your hairline is so far back that if you were a backbencher in class and I was a germ sitting on it, I would think that the rest of the backbenchers are seated in front of the class.
Why should you never make height jokes about dwarfs?
It goes right over their head.
What do you call it when someone fucks shoe inserts?
Orthopediphilia.
They say I have a silver tongue, I'll let you make it white.
How do you trick a homophobic heterosexual male that is a Roman Catholic priest into using the glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar?
Tell him that it is a confessional booth.
What is the difference between white people and coal?
It’s bad for the environment to burn coal.
Went home with a woman last night. I was greeted at the door by a Mongrel.
I say Mongrel, it was her Down syndrome son trying to process if I was a stranger or not.