IT jokes

I went up to an orphan bully and I said, "Here, look, I made a website!"

The orphan likes it, but the kid says, "I forgot one feature, though... the home button."

If an Indian had powers, it would be throwing tika masala.

You're so ugly, when you put makeup on, it makes you look like a clown.

Why did the plane go to KFC?

To lose its wings and crash!

A Russian wife turned to her husband and asked...

"What's this special military operation our glorious leader keeps talking about?"

Her husband replied, "It's a proxy war between Russia and NATO."

"Oh, right. How's it going?"

"Well," he replied, "so far we've lost 200,000 soldiers, 4,000 tanks, 500 aircraft, numerous helicopters, loads of armoured vehicles and artillery pieces along with our 'flag ship'."

"Wow! What about NATO?"

"They haven't turned up yet."

You know it's so hard to clean my sex toys.

Thank you, Jesus, for creating holy water!

What did the woman say when I told a rape joke?

"I don't get it."

Yo mama is so small that when she saw the Titanic, she called it the size of the Netherlands.

Yo mama is so ugly, when she looked in the mirror, it cracked.

Yo mama is so fat, when she saw the Titanic, she called it small.

When there are more suicidal people, it means there are fewer suicidal people. That means there is an infinite generator of them.

Why are blind people bad at catching things? Because they never see it coming.

I was asked to design a website for an orphanage, so I decided to design it without the home page.

"Honey, let's not go so deep into the woods, please. I'm starting to get scared."

"It's easy for you to talk. I can go back alone right now!"

Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!

Your hairline is so far back, it was in a different time zone on a flight with you.

I used to hate foot fungus, but now it's growing on me.

Is it just me, or do these gays need to leave me alone?

Yo mama's so poor that she only watches Frozen to hear Elsa sing "Let It Go."

I just overheard this but:

How do you make a party in space?

You planet.