IT jokes
Your buzz cut is so bad that the bees buzz around it!
Yo mama so fat that when she went on the scale, it showed her phone number.
Your mama is so fat that when she went to the scale, it said, "No elephants allowed!"
Wife: I will leave you if you call me fat again.
Husband: Wait, dear... Don’t do it for the sake of our kid!
Wife: Kid?
Husband: Yeah, aren’t you pregnant?
You know the stupid trend where people say it’s ok to be overly obese? Healthy even? That you should take pride in it? Which idiots started that movement?
Well. We know one thing for sure. They were obviously members of a wider community.
9/11 wasn’t the date, it was the score.
Why do people hate jokes about the World Trade Center?
Because it's an easy target.
Yo mama's so stupid, when they said it was chilly outside, she grabbed a bowl.
I wanted to take a bath, but decided to leave it where it is.
Once I read a book about glue.
I couldn't put it down.
Did you hear about the broken guitar for sale?
It comes with no strings attached.
What's a pirate's favorite letter? You'd think it's the "R," but it's really the "C."
Why did the computer go to bed?
It needed to crash.
What did the earthquake say when it was done? Sorry, my fault!
Why did the computer catch cold?
It left a window open.
Did you hear about the cat that ate a lemon? Now it's a sourpuss.
Have you ever had a bad sausage? It's the wurst.
Why did the drum go to bed? It was beat.
Did you hear about the guy who was afraid of hurdles? He got over it.
How can you tell if a pig is hot? It's bacon.