How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus?
Tentacles!
Why do women have legs? Because they would leave snail tracks wherever they went.
What card is the slowest and slimiest?
Ace-nail.
My aunt's star sign was Cancer, so it's pretty ironic how she died...
She was eaten by a giant crab.
"Octo" means 8 and an octopus has 8 legs... so where did the "pus" come from?