Intelligence jokes
McNeill's mom wrote a shopping list for supper:
cabbage _50
Carrots-50
Cooking fat -100
Onions_20
Tomato-20
salt-10
Total=250
She gave McNeill the list to get the ingredients.
McNeill took long to return home from the shopping.
His mom decided to call McNeill to ask why are taking long. McNeill answered, "I have all the ingredients, but I'm looking for total."
Stephen was a mad role model. He never taught me to stand up for myself.
Sister: Why does shampoo have directions?
Me: 'Cause God made you.
Keep rolling your eyes, maybe you'll find a brain back there.
What's 1 + 1? For some people, it's 1 #unibrow.
Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid.
Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime. Little Johnny always takes the nickel.
One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, “Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Don’t you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel’s bigger?”
Johnny grins and says, “Well, if I took the dime, they’d stop doing it, and so far I’ve made $20!”
Dark humor is like water: some people get it, and some people don't.
What do you call a stupid mannequin?
A dummy.
The "S" in Putin stands for smart.
If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I’d be broke.
What do you call an idiot?
An absolute imbecile.
Guess what, everybody? I'm dumb in math. I'm dumb and stupid at math.
Why does the retard not like eating his vegetables? Because he knows not to be a cannibal, he knows somehow.
I said something in your ear, and then it echoed because of the size of your forehead because your brain [is] small.
Your mama is so stupid that she put a ruler under her pillow to see how long she slept.
I was gonna make a joke about sex, but you won’t get it.
If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I'd be broke.
Q: What do you call a blonde with only two brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
My mom said you failed school. I said, "Don't be surprised, I'm a retard, Mom."
Look behind you, there is Stephen Hawking.
Nobody.