INS jokes

Penaldo

    • I was the manager at a McDonald’s in Turin when I saw Penaldo walk in and submit a job application. I asked him to show me his skills and experience, but he just started diving and asking for pens and tap-ins. I was confused until Penaldo told me that’s all he knows how to do.

  • 0

    • Man

    • I was in Portugal enjoying my lunch when I saw a man choking! I wanted to save him, but a local stopped me. “That’s Penandes, he always chokes when it matters most and ghosts in big games.” True enough, Penandes’ Ghost emerged from his body! Poor Penandes, may he get well soon!

  • 0

    • Son

    • My son and I went on a tour to the Old Trafford Stadium. We were admiring the 76,000 seat arena when he suddenly pointed at the pitch.

    “Dad, who is that man camping there?” I said, “Son, that is Bruno Penandes. He lives in that Penalty box. He only performs in small games.”

  • 0

    • Penalty

    • I left Twitter for a while, and when I tried to log back in, I found out I was suspended. I realized it was a penalty for saying some prohibited words on Twitter.

    Sadly, my idol Pristiano Penaldo took the penalty for me and he missed, and now I'm on my alt. Shame on you, Penaldo!

  • 0

    • Penaldo

    • MISSING!!

    MISSING!!

    Name: Ghostiano Penaldo

    Missing: 27/6/2021 vs Belgium

    Characteristics: Disappearing in big games + Diving + always ranting "give me penalty".

    Last found - Practicing tap ins.

    Possible Locations: Penalty Spot, Parma, Crotone.

    Might be dangerous towards good players.

  • 1

    • Penaldo

    • Penalties. Tap ins. Ghosting. Diving.

    Long ago, the four lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the Germans attacked. Only Penaldo, master of all four elements, could stop them, but when his country needed him most, he vanished.

  • 0

    • Town

    • Momma's House-By-watersharky Productions and Dustin Lynch- I see your face on every street, every corner, couple trees. Even got her name on 'em. I feel your love, I hear your laugh, got them take me way on back. Hurt me memories, I don't want 'em. Up and down the boulevard. In and out of every bar. I'd burn this whole town down. Pick a spot, dig a hole, put them ashes in the ground. Baby, I'd burn this whole town down. If it wasn't for my momma's house, my momma's house. Damn girl, why'd you have to break it like that? Leaving pieces of my shattered heart scattered like glass. I'd burn this whole town down. If it wasn't for my momma's house, my momma's house. I would start it where we started, at the downtown party Where you kissed my lips and stole my beer. The city park in the dark where we looked up at the stars Watched them fireworks pop last year. It started under that Texaco sign where you said goodbye I'd get some gas and drop a match right there. I'd burn this whole town down. Pick a spot, dig a hole, put them ashes in the ground. Baby, I'd burn this whole town down. If it wasn't for my momma's house, my momma's house. Damn girl, why'd you have to break it like that? Leaving pieces of my shattered heart scattered like glass. I'd burn this whole town down. If it wasn't for my momma's house, my momma's house. Fire red flames, sunsets in the sky Going out, staying in, staying up long nights. Now I'm waking up alone, wishing I could move on Blocked your number in my phone, thought it help but it don't. I'd burn this whole town down. Pick a spot, dig a hole, put them ashes in the ground. Baby, I'd burn this whole town down. If it wasn't for my momma's house, my momma's house. Damn girl, why'd you have to break it like that? Leaving pieces of my shattered heart scattered like glass. I'd burn this whole town down. If it wasn't for my momma's house, my momma's house.

  • 0

    • Break

    • Attention to everyone - I will be leaving for 3 weeks for a summer break. I will be back in 3 weeks. When I come back, I want someone to tell me everything that has happened over these weeks. (Gwen or Addison Banks).

    Sincerely, watersharky.

    Library

    • Me: I got kicked out of the library the other day.

    Friend: Why?

    Me: Because I put the women rights book in the fiction section.

  • 3

    • Game

    • I was playing FIFA and out of nowhere the game glitched during a penalty shootout.

    Pionel Pessi appeared out of nowhere, took my pen and skied it. Thanks to him, I'm out of UCL and was sacked in Career Mode. Shame on you Pessi!😡😡😡😡

  • 0

    • Spam

    • What's the difference between a hippie chick and a can of Spam?

    After 6 months in the woods, you'll still eat the can of Spam.

    Victim

    • What do the Twin Towers and murder victims have in common?

    Both were owned by their own kind.

    Priest

    • What's similar between a priest and McDonald's?

    They both shove their meat in between 10 year old buns.

  • 1

    • Legend

    • Gwen-Kind-Positive-Lends a Helping Hand- Stops Bullies- Does Most Helpful Work.

    Addison Banks- Positive Voicing-Stops Hurtful Words.

    ALYA-Powerful in Thought- Helps- But Sadly Is Gone.

    Prince-Always Backed Up Gwen- But Sadly Is Gone Too.

    Watersharky-Helps When Needed-Backs Up Anyone- Curses When Needed- Helps People Through Depression.

    These Are The Legends, There Are More Out There You Could Be One Too Just Lend a Helping Hand.

    Boner

    • What do you get when you put a baby in a box filled with glass and nails and push it down the stairs?

    ... A boner.

  • 2

    • Username

    • Have you ever heard of Katie? Please come to KatieJennieJackson on Reddit. Her username is ok-community-2373.

    My username is Big-reflection-104. C0mments from so other redditors are from her post:

    Hello :). On sexy tummies. Where she is wearing a black croptop.

    Are in the next post.

    Moto is: Katie Jennie Jackson is so horny! Reddit username-Ok-community-2373. Follow her please. Her photos are made for you to cum for her, not at her. Thank you if you chose to think.