How come lepers don't play cards?
Well, if they lose a couple of hands...
Infection Jokes
After arriving home from helping the priest, a young altar boy approaches his parents, "Mommy, Daddy, my poop is white!"
The mother rushes the boy to the hospital, while the father rushes to church in a rage and proceeds to beat the living hell out of the priest. Afterwards, the father heads to the hospital and meets his wife in the waiting room; she's surprisingly calm.
"How can you be so relaxed after what that bastard has been doing to our son?" he exclaims.
The wife looks up at him, "What are you talking about? It's just a liver infection!"
1.) What’s yellow and can’t swim?
- A bus full of children.
2.) Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
- He died of a yeast infection.
3.) I will never forget my grandad’s last words...
- “You’re still holding the ladder, right?”
4.) I have a fish that can breakdance...
- Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
5.) Give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours...
- Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
All countries will get Covid.
Except China, they got it right off the bat.
What's the difference between a plane and a woman?
At least the plane doesn't give you herpes when it crashes at your place.
One day, he started crying out of nowhere. Everyone started crying with him.
There was a crying pandemic going around.
Walked into a bar the other day and a group of sailors were being loud and shouting about all the women they have in port that had given them gonorrhea...
Bloody seamen.
This ole boy picked up a hooker one time and she gave him the clap. In a few days, he saw her again, and he went up to her and said, "Hey, you gave me the clap!" She said, "NO I DID NOT! I sold it to ya!"
What do you call it when a gorilla bumps uglies with an orangutan?
Monkeypox.
I think I gave you the coronavirus because I can't stop staring, a-choo!
What do women and moldy bread have in common?
A yeast infection.
"Harry Hicks smells of home. Homo is an infection, and infections are made up of atoms."
Have you heard about the Pillsbury Dough Boy? He died of a yeast infection.
What are all grandmas infected with? Defiantly not a parasite!
"NORTH KOREA HAS ITS OWN NORTH KORONAVIRUS. IT STARTED THERE."
What is a lot?
Syphilis.
What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?
Quarter pounder with cheese.
