Infection jokes

What's the difference between a plane and a woman?

At least the plane doesn't give you herpes when it crashes at your place.

When you have a bladder infection,

You're in trouble. 😜

This ole boy picked up a hooker one time and she gave him the clap. In a few days, he saw her again, and he went up to her and said, "Hey, you gave me the clap!" She said, "NO I DID NOT! I sold it to ya!"

One day, he started crying out of nowhere. Everyone started crying with him.

There was a crying pandemic going around.

Why did God invent yeast infections? So women would know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt too.

What do you get if you cross a loaf of bread with a vagina?

A yeast infection.

What happens when premenstrual Raggedy Ann gets with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?

A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.

What’s green and yellow and eats at your nuts?

Gonorrhea.

"Harry Hicks smells of home. Homo is an infection, and infections are made up of atoms."

How come lepers don't play cards?

Well, if they lose a couple of hands...

Are you corona? Cuz it’s hard to breathe around you ;)

What is a lot?

Syphilis.

Q: What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?

A: A red-headed bitch with a yeast infection.

Walked into a bar the other day and a group of sailors were being loud and shouting about all the women they have in port that had given them gonorrhea...

Bloody seamen.

Little Johnny went to the doctor to get an infection checked on his penis. As the doctor examined it, he asked, "Lil Johnny how did you get an infection on your penis?" Johnny replied, "Well, the damn neighbor Sally's braces are too sharp."

So, I was fucking this bitch, right, and I thought I had AIDS.

So I go and get tested. Turns out I did get AIDS. Now what I'm wondering is where the hell does an eight-year-old get AIDS?! I guess my sister needs new friends...

Recently, I've found out my wife has been cheating on me for the past 3 weeks with a baker downtown in Manhattan, New York, thinking I wouldn't find out. Irony of it all, she received a yeast infection.

Dr. Fauci would be surprised to know that R. Kelly didn't catch COVID-19.

But since COVID is 19, it's too old for him.

What do you call a 3-sum with a girl with AIDS?

Nut in the butt.

When Covid spreads through food, but you realized you live in Africa.