Infection jokes
What do you get if you cross a loaf of bread with a vagina?
A yeast infection.
How come lepers don't play cards?
Well, if they lose a couple of hands...
1.) What’s yellow and can’t swim?
- A bus full of children.
2.) Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
- He died of a yeast infection.
3.) I will never forget my grandad’s last words...
- “You’re still holding the ladder, right?”
4.) I have a fish that can breakdance...
- Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
5.) Give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours...
- Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
All countries will get Covid.
Except China, they got it right off the bat.
What's the difference between a plane and a woman?
At least the plane doesn't give you herpes when it crashes at your place.
Memes
Hollow Knight Meme
One day, he started crying out of nowhere. Everyone started crying with him.
There was a crying pandemic going around.
Walked into a bar the other day and a group of sailors were being loud and shouting about all the women they have in port that had given them gonorrhea...
Bloody seamen.
This ole boy picked up a hooker one time and she gave him the clap. In a few days, he saw her again, and he went up to her and said, "Hey, you gave me the clap!" She said, "NO I DID NOT! I sold it to ya!"
What do you call it when a gorilla bumps uglies with an orangutan?
Monkeypox.
I think I gave you the coronavirus because I can't stop staring, a-choo!
What do women and moldy bread have in common?
A yeast infection.
"Harry Hicks smells of home. Homo is an infection, and infections are made up of atoms."
What disease do you get from shoving a dirty, rusty piece of metal up your ass? Tetanus.
Have you heard about the Pillsbury Dough Boy? He died of a yeast infection.
What are all grandmas infected with? Defiantly not a parasite!
"NORTH KOREA HAS ITS OWN NORTH KORONAVIRUS. IT STARTED THERE."
What is a lot?
Syphilis.
What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?
Quarter pounder with cheese.
Memes
Community
MR.NIBBLES KEEPS ON HAVING THESE INFETIONS, HE DOESNT UNDERSTAND HOW DANGEROUS THEY ARE, HE WAKES UP IN PAIN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, I CAN HEAR HIM SQUEAK IN PAIN AND ILL RUN IN AND TURN ON ALL THE LIGHTS, RUN MY HANDS THROUGH HIS SHORT BROWN/WHITE FURRRRRRR I LOVE YOU MR.NIBBLES IDCCCCCCCCCCCCCC <33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333
Do not put your penis in a vacuum cleaner. Please do not insert your penis into a vacuum cleaner.
For starters, the vacuum cleaner might be dirty. It's likely that there might be dirt, dust, and bacteria that could cause an infection if they come into contact with sensitive tissues.
The vacuum cleaner is also dry. The penis is meant to be moist, and a vacuum cleaner with high suction power could chafe some of the d… Read more
I got the flu and COVID. This is my second time having covid