Infection jokes

So, I was fucking this bitch, right, and I thought I had AIDS.

So I go and get tested. Turns out I did get AIDS. Now what I'm wondering is where the hell does an eight-year-old get AIDS?! I guess my sister needs new friends...

What do you call a 3-sum with a girl with AIDS?

Nut in the butt.

One day, someone's ex was going to the kitchen to get something to eat, and her ex-boyfriend was there and gave her an apple. Next minute, she had chlamydia. What did the boyfriend do?

Walked into a bar the other day and a group of sailors were being loud and shouting about all the women they have in port that had given them gonorrhea...

Bloody seamen.

Q: What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?

A: A red-headed bitch with a yeast infection.

My ex is like AIDS! I can't get rid of him.

Why did God create yeast infections?

So women would know what it's like to live with an annoying cunt.

If certain diseases spread in water, why does Africa have them?

When Covid spreads through food, but you realized you live in Africa.

"Harry Hicks smells of home. Homo is an infection, and infections are made up of atoms."

What disease do you get from shoving a dirty, rusty piece of metal up your ass? Tetanus.

Recently, I've found out my wife has been cheating on me for the past 3 weeks with a baker downtown in Manhattan, New York, thinking I wouldn't find out. Irony of it all, she received a yeast infection.

What are all grandmas infected with? Defiantly not a parasite!

How come lepers don't play cards?

Well, if they lose a couple of hands...

What is a lot?

Syphilis.

This ole boy picked up a hooker one time and she gave him the clap. In a few days, he saw her again, and he went up to her and said, "Hey, you gave me the clap!" She said, "NO I DID NOT! I sold it to ya!"

What do you call it when a gorilla bumps uglies with an orangutan?

Monkeypox.

Dr. Fauci would be surprised to know that R. Kelly didn't catch COVID-19.

But since COVID is 19, it's too old for him.

Why did God invent yeast infections? So women would know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt too.

What happens when premenstrual Raggedy Ann gets with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?

A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.