Inability jokes
What has 30 legs but can't swim?
A bus full of children!
Most people my age have had sex. Not my fault I'm not able to fit in.
What's the time?
How would I know?
Did you see the blind guy trip on a can?
He didn't either.
I've thought about suicide, but there's always been a part of me that knows I wouldn't be able to live with the decision.
One time in my dream, I had a dream that all people in wheelchairs could walk. It was awesome; I could walk!
If a blind person can’t see, then do they sleep?
They’re the night watchers while people who see sleep.
Suicidal ideation is like wanting to slaughter someone but knowing/feeling that you can't. It's also, in a way, kind of like seeing a really hot chick that you wish you could F, but you again for whatever reason you either feel you can't or you just can't.
So, Helen Keller walks into a bar... And then a table.
Q: Why did Sally get beat up?
A: She couldn’t fight back.
Why was the T-rex so angry? You would be angry too if your arms were too short to masturbate.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It don't matter what you call it, 'cause it ain't gonna come to you.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't coming.
Why can't dinosaurs clap?
Because they're dead.
Why did the man with no arms fall off his bike? Someone threw a washing machine at him.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn’t matter; it ain’t coming to you.
You're so fat you can't see your penis when you piss.
Why did lil Susie fall off the swing? She didn’t have any arms.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Not lil Susie.
What did Sally do when she got home?
Cry because she has no arms.
I can't sleep, that's because you're dead.