In common jokes

What do SpongeBob and Asians have in common?

They're both yellow and can't drive.

What does a turtle and a pedophile have in common? They both want to get there before the hare does.

What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?

They both leave the little kids' room with empty sacks.

What do a coin and an Irish man have in common?

They're both fun to flip off.

What did Hitler and Usain Bolt have in common?

They both finished the races.

What do strippers and peanut butter have in common? They both spread for bread.

What do JFK’s killer and a prostitute have in common?

“They both blow heads.”

What do a fat chick and a moped have in common? They’re both fun to ride until your friends find out.

What does a pulse and an orgasm have in common? I don't care if she has one.

What do Catholic priests and school shooters have in common?

They both like to dump their loads into little kids.

What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common? Firstly, they both went from black to white, and secondly, they both get turned on by kids.

What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common?

Their last big hit was the wall.

Girl: "Come over."

Orphan: "I can't."

Girl: "My parents aren't home ;)"

Orphan: "Oh cool, something we have in common."