Illegal substance jokes

Why did the ducks go to jail?

They sold quack.

I make weed disappear, what's your superpower?

Yo mama so fat, she was pulled over... FOR HAVING 12 POUNDS OF CRACK ON HER!

Teacher: How much is a gram?

Tyronne: Uhmm, depends on what you need.

What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?

A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

What's the difference between drugs and children? I don't sell drugs.

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.

I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

How can a prostitute make more money than a drug dealer?

She can clean her crack and sell it again.

Johnny, Johnny?

Yes, Papa?

Sniffing cocaine?

YES SIRRR!

What's the difference between kids and drugs? I don't sell drugs.

What did the duck say to the drug dealer?

Gimme some of that quack!

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I have been tripping all day!

If there was someone selling drugs around here, we'd know.

I bought shoes from a drug dealer. I know he LCD'd them and all, but I have been tripping all day.

So I got these new shoes, except they were from a drug dealer.

Now I don't know what they were laced with, but I was trippin' all day.

Just ask your dad.

Man: *steals drink*

Boy: bro😭😭

Man: Why are u crying over a drink?

Boy: That had drugs.

Man: ....

Codenames for them FUCKING drugs, my crackhead ngas.

Cannabis: Weed, Pot, Ganja, Herb, Grass, Mary Jane, Bud, Chronic, Kush, Trees, Hash, Hashish (concentrates).

Cocaine: Coke, Blow, Snow, Dust, Charlie, White girl, Pearl, Nose candy, Rail, Sniff.

Crack Cocaine: Rock, Hard, Nuggets, Dice, Jelly beans, Moon rocks, Sugar block.

Heroin: Smack, H, Dope, Junk, Black tar, Brown sugar, China white, Horse, Dragon, Skag.

Methamphetamine (Meth): Crank, Speed, Chalk, Ice, Crystal, Glass, Shards, Tina.

MDMA (Ecstasy/Molly): E, X, XTC, Molly, Beans, Adam, Happy pill, Love drug, Dancing shoes.

LSD: Acid, Tabs, Doses, Dots, Blotter, Window pane, Sugar cubes.

Ketamine: Special K, K, Vitamin K, Cat Valium, Green K.

What is the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute?

A prostitute can wash their crack and resell it.

I snorted a line of coke off my 8-year-old sister’s tiny prepubescent vag. She just laid there and let me do it without complaining, probably because she was already dead.