Illegal substance jokes
Teacher: How much is a gram?
Tyronne: Uhmm, depends on what you need.
I snorted a line of coke off my 8-year-old sister鈥檚 tiny prepubescent vag. She just laid there and let me do it without complaining, probably because she was already dead.
Man: *steals drink*
Boy: bro馃槶馃槶
Man: Why are u crying over a drink?
Boy: That had drugs.
Man: ....
I make weed disappear, what's your superpower?
What is the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute?
A prostitute can wash their crack and resell it.
What did the duck say to the drug dealer?
Gimme some of that quack!
Just ask your dad.
Yo mama so fat, she was pulled over... FOR HAVING 12 POUNDS OF CRACK ON HER!
Johnny, Johnny?
Yes, Papa?
Sniffing cocaine?
YES SIRRR!
Why did the ducks go to jail?
They sold quack.
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.
I don鈥檛 know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
How can a prostitute make more money than a drug dealer?
She can clean her crack and sell it again.
What's the difference between drugs and children? I don't sell drugs.
What's the difference between kids and drugs? I don't sell drugs.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I have been tripping all day!
I bought shoes from a drug dealer. I know he LCD'd them and all, but I have been tripping all day.
So I got these new shoes, except they were from a drug dealer.
Now I don't know what they were laced with, but I was trippin' all day.
If there was someone selling drugs around here, we'd know.