Hyperbole jokes

Last week, I was on a plane to Manchester when suddenly the plane was hit by a ball. I wondered where it came from, but I soon realized it was none other than Penaldo practicing his free kicks. Shame on you, Penaldo, for almost killing me!

MVP means: “Most Valuable Player.”

In Chuck Norris' case: “Most Vaginas Penetrated”.

Yo mama so fat, she broke the stairway to heaven.

Yo mama so fat she broke the stairway to heaven...

Chuck Norris is so immortal, even he killed Death.

Cooper is the best to ever live.

Yo mama is so huge, when she was born everyone died.

When her head game is so strong, she sucks the chromosome right out of you.

Chuck Norris can make Minute Maid lemonade in 5 seconds.

The reason why I stopped eating salads was not to be unhealthy; it was so I don't need to eat the wheelchairs along with all those fucking vegetables.

Sonic can run around the world in a second. I can do it in 0.5, but Chuck Norris has already done it before us.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he's pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris uses elevators only in case of fire.

"Chuck? How many push-ups can you do?" -- "All of them."