I ain't shaking anyone's hand, not because of the Coronavirus... I ain't shaking anyone's hand because y'all out of toilet paper!
Hygiene Jokes
Toothbrush says, "I have the worst job ever."
Toilet paper says, "You think your job is shitty."
Q: Why was the potty sad?
A: Diarrhea
How can toilet paper decorate your house?
Shit sticks everywhere.
I got in touch with my inner self today, it's the last time I use 1-ply toilet roll.
I see how it is y’all be buying toilet paper, stocking up from the Coronavirus, but where on the symptoms does it say diarrhea? Lol, why y’all be buying toilet paper, now I am just confused.
Yo momma so stupid, she pooped in the shower.
Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?
Because it's finger-licking good.
Why couldn't the toilet paper roll down the road?
Poooooooooooooooooooooop!
Why did the poop cross the street? Because it was trying to get in the toilet.
Kid: Licks money.
Mom: Hey, don’t lick the money. It is dirty.
Kid: Is that why they call people filthy rich?
Why did the guy take a bath? Because he came, and it was too much of a mess.
What's the difference between broccoli and a booger?
Kids won't eat broccoli.
What time do babies get dirty?
Playtime.
Why was the astronaut washing her hands?
She was getting ready to eat launch.
Badass Toilet Paper Company: We don't take shit off of anyone.
Why is Helen Keller's snatch always sore?
She wipes with a Brillo pad.
Why does Helen Keller look in the toilet after taking a poop?
Nobody knows!
What's black and red/read all over? A baby skunk with a bad case of diaper rash!
