Hung jokes
If you drop an apple and an emo girl, who falls first?
The apple, because the emo girl hung herself.
How were tire swings made?
A tire said, "Goodbye world," and hung himself.
When there's no piñata at the party, but the emo kid just hung himself.
The emo kid's mom went to jail because the kid was hung.
Q: How can you tell if a Western is gay?
A: All the good guys are hung.
What’s the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
The picture gets hung with one nail, not two.
What do clothes and emo kids have in common?
They both get hung.
Why was the emo mad?
The picture got hung, not her.
What do you call a hung autist...
Dead.
What do ya call an emo that's hung himself? Hangman.
What do chicken on a plancha and emos have in common?
They both are hung.
My mom interrupted my gaming session to tell me to hang up the lights.
I hung something else instead.
She asked me if I was hung like a horse, but I said no.
I'm hung like a person who wants to die, but then the rope broke.
Q: What's the difference between Jeffrey Epstein and wind chimes?
A: Wind chimes don't make a gurgling sound when they're hung.
Once, there was a woman who had a husband and a dog. The husband dies.
The dog would always sleep under the bed, and when the woman would go to sleep, she'd put her hand down, and the dog would lick it to say she/he was alright. One night, it was thunderstorming. She put her hand down and the dog licked normally. She heard the dog whimper, so she put her hand down like normal, as the dog always does, he/she licks her hand.
Then she heard dripping coming from the bathroom, so she went to go stop the leaking that might be coming from the tap, but the tap wasn't on, nor was it dripping. She turns on the light and looks up at the roof to see if the roof was leaking but turns out her dog was hung by its head above the bathtub.
On the mirror it said, "Humans can lick too," in the dog's blood.
This is a true story, don't be afraid to look it up!
My wife is so ugly when she was born, the doctor said, "I did everything I could, but she pulled through anyways." When she was born, the doctor hung himself with the umbilical cord. He pushed her back in, said, "Not done." The doctor slapped her mother. The doctor looked at her and said, "Twins!" He didn't know what end to slap. He threw her away and kept the afterbirth.
How do u get a depressed person out of a tree?
You cut the rope they hung themself in...
What fell first, the emo kid or the leaf? The leaf, 'cause the emo kid just hung.
An orphan was shocked, he called the ambulance. If he forgot he's suicidal, he quickly hung up.
Jesus was being hung up on the cross, and me and all the other people at the bottom of the hill were watching. Jesus cries out,
"Peter, Peter come to me!"
So I climb up the hill on my hands and knees, and when I reach the top, the Romans cut off my arms and chuck me back down the hill.
"Peter, Peter come to me!" cries Jesus once more. I stumble up the hill, then the Romans cut my legs off and threw me back down. For the third time, Jesus cries,
"Peter, Peter come to me!". So I wriggle up the hill, and I guess the Romans pitied me and let me through.
"Look Peter, I can see my house from here!"