Hows jokes
How do you get a depressed person to jump?
Put them on a bridge.
My mom telling me the brief history of the blanket and how she received it from her cousin. ( ╹▽╹ )
Me sitting anxiously in place pretending to be amazed by the story, and reacting with kind cheerfulness and a big smile. (◍•ᴗ•◍)
All I can actually think about: "I m@sturbated under it- aaaaaah" ಠ◡ಠ
I once saw a noose joke.
I wanna know how to make one :D
How did the man with a small penis become a rapist? His condom fell off.
What is the only thing lesbians know how to grow? Cucumbers.
How are Xbox servers like hookers? First they take my money, and then they go down on me.
How can all rape be prevented? Just teach your daughters to never say no to a man. There - fixed!
How do you rape a feminist? Tell her you are a woman and she will let you do whatever. You won't even need to force it.
How is a child molester and Harambe the same? They both get shot for touching little kids.
A donut is not empty inside, that was a hole in the middle. If I'm a donut, the hole used to be where I put my feeling and happiness, but people snatch it away from me.
Anyway, can someone put a hole in my physical body too? I kinda wanted to see people cry for me just like how people cry for Ace from One Piece.
Man: Cow milk is drinkable.
Other man: How do you know that?
Man: *smiles with milk all over mouth*
Other man: John...h-how do you know that!
How did the rich save the poor?
They didn't let them in the Titanic.
How does an orange 🍊 go into a crowded restaurant?
By squeezing his way in.
How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change anything.
I am just kidding, you know gay jokes aren't funny, come on guys.
How do you turn a hairy man into a feminist?
Just take out his brain and there you go!
How are feminists different from gorillas? At least gorillas don't abort their own children.
Chiropractor: Final neck adjustment in 3, 2, 1. How did that feel?
Me: *silence*
Ernie and Burt were camping in the woods, when they woke up Burt asked Ernie "how did you sleep?" Ernie replied with "I slept amazing! I had a great dream that I was in a magic candy world and was sucking the most tastiest lollipop I'd ever tasted in my life."
Burt replied with "Good to hear, I slept amazing too. I had a dream that I was in heaven surrounded by angels, and one of them was giving me a blow job."
I asked my friend how long I can be in the sky. He said if you are emo, then forever.
You know, I like my girls how I like my 9/11: Two twins that go down easy.