Howe jokes
Waitress: What can I get for you?
Me: I'll have a steak.
Waitress: How would you like it?
Me: Immediately!
How many Tottenham players does it take to win a trophy? It doesn't matter how hard they try, they still can't win one anyway.
Why do people play basketball?
Because they want to learn how to suck balls.
I know everything about Walt Disney! How he died, how his mom and dad died, how his kids died, when he was born, where he was born, and how he was born. 😏
How are baseball and an orphan different?
A baseball game you can do a home run.
Memes
. . .
How do you kidnap Stephen Hawking?
Shut off his computer.
Why don't orphans know how to play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
I taught my dog how to play the trumpet on the London Underground over the weekend.
He went from Barking to Tooting in just under 20 minutes.
How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it!
How many times did Rob O'Neill shoot Bin Laden? 911 times.
How many times was Osama bin Laden shot?
911 times.
How do u get 40 cigarettes in a pack?
U shove them down his throat. 🤣😂
How do you starve a hippie? You hide its welfare check under the soap.
How did the gay man die? Homicide.
How much does a chimney cost?
It's free cause it's on the house.
How do emo kids compliment each other? They say, "I like your cuts, G!"
How does a hillbilly mother know when her daughter is on her period? Her son’s dick tastes like blood.
Me: How do you celebrate Christmas?
Orphan: I don't know what you mean.
Me: There is no one to give a present.
These two guys were texting each other.
Guy 1: How are you?
Guy 2: I’m great. The weather is lovely here. Guy 2: *sends picture of a flying spring*
Guy 1: ???
Guy 2: Springs in the air. :)
Friend: You know how I like my women like my coffee... hot.
Me: What if you don't like coffee? :(