Q: How do you know when Putin is lying?
A: His lips move.
Howe Jokes
Think about how many more girls we guys could get if we talked to them how we talk to other guys, like when they say, "Can I borrow a pencil?" You say, "You can borrow this hard wood dick."
Kid 123, how's downline Orphan what? Home! 😂😂😂😂😂 Sorry.
How did the blind boy's parents punish him?
Rearrange the furniture.
How many terrorists does it take to tile a roof?
It depends on how thin you slice them.
How do you get an emo kid out of a tree? Cut the rope.
Me: How do cowboys say hello?
Friend: Howdy.
Me: How do deez nuts fit in your mouth?
How did the emo kid compliment the other emo kid? He said, "I like your cuts G."
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
How do you scare a lot of people in New York?
Open a mobile hotspot named "Delta Inflight Wifi."
How on God's green earth does my boyfriend have a phone?
JK WE NEED TO TALK ILL TYPE THE SECRET CODE (YOU'LL KNOW WHAT IT MEANS.) GREEN PUSSY CAT LIKES BANNANS.
Imagine you go to school, right? You hit the curve, the bus driver be like, "Ahhh, how do I stop the bus?" Students from the bus jump from the windows. One of the students: "That's a YOU problem."
How does Moses brew his coffee?
He brews it.
How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles?
You nail its other hand to the floor.
How do you talk to giants? Using big words.
What is it called when an orphan takes a selfie?
A family photo.
Jordan, you stupid ass! Addison never bothered you so leave her the FUCK alone! How about this? Get up, go outside, stop being a jackass, and get a fucking life!
I named my cousin's parrot Michell, and then I started to call Mikey "Mikey", right? I'm starting to teach my cousin Sammy how to say "Mikey Mikey" and he says "mekiy meiky" 😆
How did Gertie Gorilla make the Playboy magazine?
She was ape-ril!
How can you tell that a blonde likes you? She only gives three fucking nights in a row.
