Home jokes

Best not leave hungry kids unattended!

There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.

She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."

Son said, "But I can't see."

Mom said, "That's the point."

What is old, cold, and alone?

An orphan's parents.

What's the difference between an orphan and a baseball player?

The baseball player knows where home base is.

I think people should date orphans, because their parents are never home.

I went on an orphan website. Sadly, there was no home page.

Why do orphans stay home alone?

Because they don't have parents.

I asked my orphan friend what his movie is, he said "Spiderman: No Way Home." I said, "Probably because it's so relatable, right?" He started crying. I don't know why.

My son came up to me and said, "Mom, where are your parents?"

I stared in confusion. I said, "In a far place."

He asked, "In an orphanage?"

I teach orphans.

But the problem is I can't give them homework.

An orphan tried to make an app about orphans, but there was no home page.

A girl came to my house. She said, "Where are your parents?" I started crying.

What do orphans and police not have in common?

The police can actually go home.

Why is Homelander an orphan's favorite superhero?

Because they can actually land a home.

You could think that some orphans are gay.

But think, would they be home-osexual? 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

Why do orphans have gross cakes?

Because their dad didn't come home with the milk.

Why can't orphans operate Apple devices?

Because they don't know how to use the home button.

Q. Why was the orphan unable to use the phone?

A. He was trying to phone home.

What's the worst part about burning your vegetables before dinner?

Explaining what happened to the nursing home while you're hungry.

Little Johnny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something. Then he sees a plastic di**. He asks his mom, "What's that?" and Mom didn't know, so when his dad comes home from work, he sees him with the plastic di** and says, "Son, why you messing with my personal toy?"