Home jokes

My son came up to me and said, "Mom, where are your parents?"

I stared in confusion. I said, "In a far place."

He asked, "In an orphanage?"

Why do orphans have gross cakes?

Because their dad didn't come home with the milk.

Why can't orphans operate Apple devices?

Because they don't know how to use the home button.

Q. Why was the orphan unable to use the phone?

A. He was trying to phone home.

I think people should date orphans, because their parents are never home.

An orphan asked if they could move into my house yesterday. I said, "Don't you have a family?"

Nobody really liked our fireplace.

So I turned it into a brick pizza oven. Idk why, but now everyone likes our fireplace.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

They can't find home. 😀😀

Why did an orphan kill ET?

To phone home.

What do you call an orphan?

Homeless.

A man comes home, and the wife says, "My ex just died by getting hit by a bus." And the husband said, "I lost my job as a bus driver."

This dad went out hunting, he killed a deer. He came home and he and his wife decided to have it for dinner but not tell their kids. Instead, they made them guess. The dad said, "It's something that daddy calls mommy." The little girl yells to her brother, "Don't eat it! It's an ass!"

Why can orphans only hit a triple in baseball?

Because they don't know where home is.

So, some ants in a colony go to war. They want some more troops and know that there are ants that went to wars as well. They call them war-ants.

They start barging into homes to search for more war-ants. They barge into a home, and the lady-ant goes, "Hey, why are you here? Can you please leave?" One of the ants replies with, "I'm sorry, but unless you have a war-ant, we have to keep searching your house."

I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.

An orphan entered the high school for the first time. He has no knowledge of the school. He went to the secretary and asked where he shall go. The secretary then gave the orphan a schedule and said to the orphan, “Where is homeroom?” The secretary then asked which homeroom number he was assigned, and he said "1." The orphan then started to weep and said that his parents died right as he stole his first base in baseball.

I took an Uber home the other day, and the bastard was swerving all over the road and driving on the shoulder... I said, "Who the f*ck taught you to drive?" To this, he replied, "Stevie Wonder."

I was happy to find I could get a passing grade in all my subjects if I had sex with my teacher, until I remembered I'm home schooled.

Why couldn’t the orphan find home?

Didn’t have eyes.

What did the orphan's friend give him for his birthday?

Lego, so he can build a home.