How do you know a woman is blind?
Because she can’t see the kitchen or the laundry.
Home Jokes
I was thrown out of the charity food kitchen on my first night of volunteering.
All I said was, "Hurry up, some of us got homes to go to..."
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They can't find home.
What’s the difference between an ant and an orphan?
The ant knows where home is.
My son came to me depressed, so I pointed to the spare bedroom and said, "Hang in here, son."
This dad went out hunting, he killed a deer. He came home and he and his wife decided to have it for dinner but not tell their kids. Instead, they made them guess. The dad said, "It's something that daddy calls mommy." The little girl yells to her brother, "Don't eat it! It's an ass!"
Why can orphans only hit a triple in baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
I took an Uber home the other day, and the bastard was swerving all over the road and driving on the shoulder... I said, "Who the f*ck taught you to drive?" To this, he replied, "Stevie Wonder."
So, some ants in a colony go to war. They want some more troops and know that there are ants that went to wars as well. They call them war-ants.
They start barging into homes to search for more war-ants. They barge into a home, and the lady-ant goes, "Hey, why are you here? Can you please leave?" One of the ants replies with, "I'm sorry, but unless you have a war-ant, we have to keep searching your house."
I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.
An orphan entered the high school for the first time. He has no knowledge of the school. He went to the secretary and asked where he shall go. The secretary then gave the orphan a schedule and said to the orphan, “Where is homeroom?” The secretary then asked which homeroom number he was assigned, and he said "1." The orphan then started to weep and said that his parents died right as he stole his first base in baseball.
Why couldn’t the orphan find home?
Didn’t have eyes.
What did the orphan's friend give him for his birthday?
Lego, so he can build a home.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Earth is full. Go home!
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and the people at the old folks home?
They both collapsed.
Orphans can get away with anything really bad at school, because they can't be sent home for it.
People shouldn’t be afraid during a zombie apocalypse.
They can stay in their living room.
I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page.
What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.
What's the worst place to teach an orphan? Homeschool.
