Hole jokes
What do you call a person with a hole in their shoe?
A Christian.
Why did the toilet paper not make it across the street?
'Cause it got stuck in a pothole!
What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub?
One's got hope in her soul, the other's got soap in her hole.
What did Hellen Keller do when she fell in a hole?
She screamed until her hands got tired.
Why did the moth nibble a hole in the carpet?
He wanted to see a floor show.
I don't get why people don't like my abortion jokes. Do they have a stick up their ass? Wait, that's the other hole.
Where was Stephen Hawking buried?
In a black hole. 😂🤣
You find yourself stuck in a hole with a murderer, a rapist, and a lawyer. You're armed, but you only have 2 bullets left. What do you do?
Shoot the lawyer. Twice.
Why do golfers bring an extra pair of socks? In case they get a hole in one.
I went, I saw, I poop at hole. I make a portal.
Three nuns are talking, and the first nun says, "You would never believe what I discovered." Intrigued, the others signal her to continue. "I found a phone in the priest's room," said the first nun. "Oh, that's nothing," said the second one. "I found condoms in one of his drawers." said the second one. "What did you do with them?" said the first nun. Pridefully, the second nun responds with, "I poked holes in all of them." and the third nun says, "Oh sh*t...."
Doctor, can I please have a new butt? My old one has a hole and a crack in it.
A man walks over to a little boy and asks, "Wanna see my tattoo of a bunny?"
The little boy replies with, "Yes please, I love bunnies!"
The man proceeds to pull his pants down and said, "Can you see it yet?"
The little boy curious says, "No, where is it?"
The man says, "Dig a little deeper, he runs into the hole when he gets scared!"
My arse hole hurts like no joke, man. I just had to tell that your heads a peanut, you fucking nonce, kid, you fat fuck sack, your mum you dirty cow!
Did you know that lots of graves are put in churchyards?
Yeah, they're pretty holey.
How do you catch a polar bear?
Cut a hole in the ice, put peas around it, when the polar bear goes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.
3 men go to hell. Satan says if you can question me and I can't answer, you go to heaven.
The first man asks if Satan knew how to make computers. He goes to hell. The next man asks if he knew how to make furniture. He goes too. The third man pokes a ton of holes in a bottle cap and farts in the bottle, asks Satan where the fart came from. Satan said every possible answer and the man pointed to his butthole and said "nope this one"😂
Sat at a busy intersection with a slice of bread, waiting for a traffic jam.
Cut a hole in the rug so he could see a dirty floor show.
He took hay to bed to feed his nightmare.
Took a tape measure to bed to see how long he slept.
Put his nose out the window so the wind will blow it.
Died with his boots on because he didn't want to hurt his toes when he kicked the bucket.
Stephen Hawking didn't die, he got sucked up by the black hole then got sent to the large charger in the sky.
Nolan is a mole, who lives in a hole, and then had intercourse with a troll.