Himself jokes

This gay guy was so happy with his new boyfriend that he took him to his favorite gay bar.

An hour or so goes by, then the new flame says, "I just LOVE this place, everyone is so nice, food is great, but what's up with the monkey way down there?"

His friend says "OK, watch this." He goes up behind the chimp and smacked him in back of its head. The monkey jumped off the stool, pulls down his zipper, and gives him head. When finished, the chimp took a napkin, cleaned himself, pulled up his zipper, then jumped back to his chair.

He walked back to his new gay friend and said, "What do you think of that?"

"MAN, I seen some amazing things, but never like that!" His squeeze said, "Wanna give it a try?"

"I sure do, JUST DON'T hit me as hard as you hit that monkey."

Why did the skeleton go to the movies by himself?

He had no body to go with.

It’s sad because with all these mean jokes Stephen hawkings can’t even Stand up for himself

How were tire swings made?

A tire said, "Goodbye world," and hung himself.

What's the difference between you and Hitler?

Hitler knew when to kill himself.

Bigfoot is just a normal person who covered himself in Pritt Stick and went down on Susan Boyle.

How did the inkjet printer kill himself?

He drank cyan-ide.

Yo mama is so ugly, when she goes to the photographer, he shoots himself.