HI jokes

My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.

What do you call a priest meeting his illegal children?

A holy CUMmunion.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.

Jack got high and slapped his thigh and said, "You know you wanna."

Jill said yes, picked up her dress and said, "Let's have some fun!"

Silly ole Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.

Why did the orphan cross the road?

So he can be hit by a car and be reunited with his parents.

Yo son so excellent, he gone to a Rubik’s cube competition who competed against his daddy.

What does an emo kid say to his best friend?

"Let's hang out."

Wayne Couzens, the police officer who killed Sarah Everard, has been complaining about receiving a whole life tariff for her murder...

I think he should count his blessings. He could have had it worse...

He could have married her!

The Emo kid wanted to go on a field trip, but he needed his parent's signature.

I bribbled a kid and he was bribbled hem so hard that his balls came off.

The school shooter encounters the emo kid. He reaches for his gun, but the emo kid disappears. He then finds that his gun is not on him.

What is it called when a cop hides under his bed? Going undercover.

What happened when the emo tried to high five a tree?

It left him hanging.

Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"

Man: *Shows a picture of his child.*

What did the calculator say to his friends? “You can count on me!”

Why did the pumpkin man not go to the party? He had his hand stuck in a treasure chest.

A penis has a sad life.

His hair is a mess. His family is nuts. His neighbor is an asshole. His best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him. That's it for now.

Why does Sonic wear gloves? Because his hands are cold.

Why did Jeffrey get blood on his shoe?

Because this teen just started her period!

How did my dad know I was gay?

He stuck his cock in me and I liked it.

You say Alex Jones, I say Alex moans mmmmm. I like that fat, tasty big boy and his Rolex watches, mummy, he turns me on!