Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"
Man: *Shows a picture of his child.*
HI Jokes
What did the calculator say to his friends? “You can count on me!”
Why did the pumpkin man not go to the party? He had his hand stuck in a treasure chest.
A penis has a sad life.
His hair is a mess. His family is nuts. His neighbor is an asshole. His best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him. That's it for now.
Why does Sonic wear gloves? Because his hands are cold.
Why did Jeffrey get blood on his shoe?
Because this teen just started her period!
How did my dad know I was gay?
He stuck his cock in me and I liked it.
You say Alex Jones, I say Alex moans mmmmm. I like that fat, tasty big boy and his Rolex watches, mummy, he turns me on!
What is the difference between a detective company and a man with eyes on his butt?
One has a private eye, and the other has eyed privates.
This kid was crying, so I asked him where his parents were. He just cried harder. I still remember him every time I pass that orphanage.
My grandpa was the best soldier ever. He gunned down over 100 soldiers in his bunker during D-Day.
Wilt Chamberlain may have spread his seed among many women, but Kobe spread his brain matter all over California.
I asked a man if I was the fastest gun in the west. He said my 17 wasn't good enough. After that, a lot of lead went into his head.
Jim was caught beating a man up. Brooklyn took a picture of his license plate with her phone and told him, "Your life is ruined!" So Jim took a picture of her, and the next thing you know, he said, "Now my phone is ruined!"
I saw a kid crying and asked him where his parents were. He started crying harder.
The ungrateful brat. I see why he is an orphan.
What did the orphan do when he got punched?
Nothing, because his parents weren't there! :)
Why couldn't the surfer hang 10?
Because he forgot his feats!
Why did the orphan cry? Because he was an orphan and he watched his parents die.
Hi how are you?
"Hi, I’m Dan White’s dad. Where is he?"
