Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend? - Because he needed some space.
I saw this kid on the street wearing a rag I said are you an orphan he said what gave me away I said your parents
A father and three sons are renovating a house when a wall of that house collapses and breaks the fathers back. Keeping calm he tells the sons, "well, I guess this is what you would call back-breaking labor." He chuckled then passed out from pain.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
A patient visiting his doctor asked him if he had ever laughed at a patient. The doctor said, "I have never in 25 years of practice ever laughed at a patient". Reassured, the patient drops his trousers and underpants. Immediately the doctor burst out into loud raucous laughter when he sees that the patient has a penis the size of a cocktail sausage. After about 10 minutes the doctor manages to get himself under control. Swiftly apologising he says to the patient, "Sorry about that. How can I help you?" The patient says, "Have you got any cream for it? It's swollen."
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Woman- What’s a good comeback for my sexist husband when he tells me to go make him a sandwich
Husband- I know! How about you COMEBACK with a godda*n sandwich?
My brother caught Covid last month.
First I knew about it was when he speed-dialled me at 3am and gasped, 'I can't breathe, I can't breathe !'
I just told him straight: 'Bro... you really need to work on your George Floyd jokes.'
I walked up to a man and he said hows the weather up their and then i pushed him in the street to get hit by a bus
mom, mom I'm holding my little brother's hand ..... little Johnny good! but he's not born yet
What did Luke Skywalker say when he saw someone bullying his sister? You better not Leia finger on her!
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why did the farmer went to the strip club
coz he was looking for his hoe
How is Steven hawking so smart... he uploads it to his software
a man got fired from the first coin factory. he exclaimed "no! this is the only thing thats ever made cents!!"
*One day u see a girl climb a pole and ask her* Why are u climbing that pole Because a boy payed me to He did that to see your underwear Oh. Ok *next day u see her do the same thing* why are u ding the same thing Well I got him this time. I did not wear underwear
I once told an orphan his dad is spider man because he is far from home
Why can't all guys be more like Kenny? He doesn't get all upset when his mom isn't in the mood.
When you're the only one bullying the weird kid and you're absent on the day he shoots up the school. ̄\_(ツ)_/ ̄
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