Herring jokes

So today an old lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her... Hhah.

Yo momma so dumb, she washes her dishes in the river.

"You momo joso fat, she went in the ocean and the whales came up to her and started singing, ""We Are Family"" even though you are father than me."

I got fired from a pickle factory for getting my finger caught in a slicer. They only gave *her* the day off with pay... unfair!

Yo mama is so fat she can't even get in her own car because she's fat.

Why does Sophia have no ears? Her mom gave her, her first haircut.

Your mum is so fat, I had to take 2 buses and a train to get to her good side.

Yo mama so fat that when she looks into a mirror, it always shatters, because her weight could be felt all around.

What did the mom tell her son when he asked for a bowl of cereal? "Sorry your dad wasn't came back with the milk yet."

When your cousin dies and everybody thinks you're her.

FUCKING MENT

An emo tried to high-five a tree. The tree left her hanging.

Roses are red, her name is Lily, she bends over, and said "HARDER, DADDY!"

The best night of my life was when I gave my virginity to my wife, and her last word was when she called me "Mommy" at the top of her lungs before I knocked her up 😍.

A woman went into her garden and danced in front of her vegetables.

The next morning, her corn didn’t grow, and the tomatoes didn’t blush or turn red, but the cucumbers grew four inches.

My sister said she was as fat as a coconut, so I threw one at her and she was right.

Yo mama so dumb, when I told her my blind friend couldn’t see, she said, “Open yo eyes!”

An elderly man was happy to finally see his wife again and was packing. He told everyone about the trip.

"I will see her in one week!"

A week later, he died.

Yo mama so fat, Trump used her like a wall.

Why did the boy kill his girlfriend?

Because he had a crush on her.

So, gender equality is the idea that a woman can do anything a man can, right? That they should be treated the same? So, therefore, if she swings on me, I could punch her into the Twin Towers because of gender equality. I love gender equality.