Herring jokes

I remember my mom's last words before her divorce, "Did you just load in me?"

My favorite sex position is the JFK:

I splatter all over her as she screams and tries to get out of the car.

How do you find a redneck virgin?

Just look for a 4-year-old. They can run faster than her brothers.

One day a Chief was talking to his son... "Son," the father said, "Long ago the Woman didn't have anybody to take her to BINGO. So, the Creator put the Woman to sleep and cut off her butt cheeks and made her a Man. That's why today Indian Women have no butt, and the Men are called Buttheads!"

Why doesn't Helen Keller's boyfriend like having sex with her?

'Cause she just lies there like she's dead.

My wife asked me to get her a puppy. I agreed and went to an animal shelter. As I was searching for a puppy, a fire was set, and the entire animal shelter burned down.

A few hours later, I returned to my wife. She knew I had no puppies and asked why. I replied, "I couldn't find any." She understood but was upset, so I gave her something that I did get. She said, "Wow! This is good, what smokehouse did you get this at?"

Yo mama is so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.

Yo mama so old, she walked into an antique store, and they didn't let her leave.

Yo mama so fat you can see her from 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 galaxies away!

Yo mama so ugly, just after she was born, her mother said, "What a treasure!" and her father said, "Yes, let's go bury it."

Yo mama so dumb, when the doctor told her she had coronavirus, she bought a new laptop.

Chuck: That's my sister, mister, and I'm gonna save her!

Red: snooore, snoooore

Silver: *straining to get outta buff eagle's grip*

Chuck: *goes super sonic speed and breaks outfit*

Chuck VS RED

Both LOSE!

Me and my girlfriend broke up, and I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?

Q: How did Helen Keller break her wrist?

A: Reading road signs.

Your mum is so fat that when she sat on the toilet, she couldn't because her fat ass can't fit on the toilet seat.

What did the mother cheetah say to her cub?

"Go to bed or I'll slap your spots off you!"

What's the difference between a (hypothetical) girl and cancer?

Her dad didn't beat cancer.

Yo momma is so fat, her bellybutton gets home 15 minutes before she does.

My sister told me words don't hurt her, so I chucked a dictionary at her.

What did the orphan's mum say before she abandoned her child?

OH it's a bitch.