Why is it hard to break up with a Japanese girl?
Because you have to drop the bomb twice for her to get it.
I got my daughter a trampoline for her birthday, The ungrateful bitch just sat there in her wheelchair and cried
How do you kill Hellen Keller?
Take her on a walk off a cliff.
Hellen Keller went to go grab her bouncy balls.
Man: Ouch!
What do you do after raping a deaf mute eight-year-old girl? Smash the little bitch's hands with a hammer so she can't tell her mum.
How do you make an eight year old girl cry twice? Wipe your bloody cock off on her favourite teddy bear after you’ve raped her
How to harass? Say it out loud but slowly. Split that word into, and it sounds like "her ass."
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I took her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
What did the woman with no hands get for Christmas? No idea. She hasn't opened her present yet.
I got fired from my job at the bank today. An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Q: How do you blind a woman?
A: You put a windshield in front of her.
Yo mama so UGLY... at the strip club... people pay her... to keep her clothes ON!!!
How do you stop a MeToo feminazi from telling the world about being raped? Easy: just rape her mouth shut.
Why did the transgender man only eat salad?
Because he was a "her" before.
A married woman asked her husband if he saw the future. The husband answered her, "I have no eye, dear."
What is a woman doing with an empty sheet?
Reading her rights!
There were 5 people on an airplane.
1. The pilot 2. The businessman 3. The Minister 4. The school child 5. The Smartest person in the world
The plane takes off, a good, solid 1 hour in. The pilot comes out and says, "OK guys, I have good news and bad news."
"Bad News is the plane is gonna crash. The good news is that I have 4 parachutes."
The pilot says to his passengers, "Well I'm a pilot, I fly planes. People depend on me!" Took a parachute and went out.
The businessman stands up and says, "Well I'm a businessman, I run companies!" Took a parachute and went out.
The smartest person in the world stands up and says, "I'm the smartest person in the world. No one is smarter than me!" Took a parachute and went out.
Now the minister says to the school child, "Well God has given me a good life. I want you to take the last parachute," and the school child has a massive smile on her face and starts laughing all of the sudden and the minister says, "Why are you smiling?! We're about to die!!!!"
And the school child says to the minister, "Well actually [we're] not gonna die because there are still 2 parachutes left because the smartest person in the world just took my school bag!"
If you buy two condoms, but you're banging a woman, it's fine, don't throw it away, just make her transgender.
I dunno man, worked for me.
Why did the prostitute lose all her money?
Because she got f*cked.
An eight year old girl struggles to breath as she lies on a hospital bed and waits for the doctor to come. After the doctor comes he pulls his cock out of her mouth and she can breathe much better.
