Did you hear about the magician who did magic with chocolate? I heard he had loads of Twix up his sleeve.
Please Fokes you can hit the thumbs up button on the ones you like. There is no need to repost..
*Anyways*
Knock knock Who's there? Can I come in? Can I come in who? Can I Come In You!?
More often than not, I will cry when I masturbate.. Some nights I'm a real tear jerker! But on the nights and I smoke a lil pot and then masturbate, my dad ends up bugging me because I am a weed wacker.
How do you keep a dog from humping your leg? Pick him up and suck his dick.
How does Popeye keep his manly part from rusting? He sticks it in Olive Oil.
Snow White and the seven dwarfs are in the the tub feeling "HAPPY". Happy got out now they are fucking "GRUMPY"
What's worse than waking up and finding a "Penis" drawn on your forehead? Finding out it was "Traced"
If I had a rooster and you had a donkey and your donkey ate my rooster what would you have? 3 feet of my cock up your ass
Did you know Batman was actually Black? Yeah he couldn't go a night with out Robyn!
Did you hear Gods Word Of The Day? Its Legs! Now lets go out and spread them.
What do you call a Mexican woman with no legs? Cunt-sway-low
Whats worse than sucking 25 oysters out of your Grandmas Pussy? Realizing you only put in 15
one day i caught my sister talking to my girlfriend and she said "you never told me your Lesbian" and i said "no,not at all" my girlfriend ask "why did you not tell her" and i said " because every time i bring a girl home i hear to much noise in her room and i never get the chance to kiss them because she's cleaning the trash" and she said "yeah,the trash is her junk"
Kid: wanna hear a joke? Me: sure Kid:why diddncjcjcbfjcbcjdbbskzmzj b b j no Me:?
How many wee-tahds does it take to change a lightbulb? None! They are still too busy trying to turn off the dark.
click...uh click..........,.UH!!
Confucius say, never try win head-butting contest with mongoloid: you’ll lose every time and only hurt yourself.
(mono gloid? mong a’ loid squeals)
Did you hear the one about the dog raised by retards?
All he’d do is go “Uh-f, uh-f....Ooohhhh!”
1.) What’s Yellow And Can’t Swim? - A Bus Full Of Children 2.) Did you hear bout the pilsbury dough boy? - he died of a yeast infection 3.) I will never forget my grandads last words... - “you’re still holding the ladder right?” 4.) I have a fish that can breakdance... - only for 20 seconds though, and only once 5.) give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours... - lite a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
Mom says : I will go kill myself Me : *stays quite cuz knows better than to talk* *also me internally eyerolls* Some time later me fighting with my mom Me to my mom : OH YEA THAN KILL ME Mom : What the hell did you just say I don't want to hear it from u again Lesson? SO ITS OK FOR ADULTS TO SAY I'LL KILL MYSELF BUT NOT TEENS/KIDS!?!?!
What does a mother fear most?
Hearing "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!" For 5 different men.
One dark stormy night when i was 8 years old I woke up in the middle of the night busting to pee, half asleep i walked down the stairs and toward the bathroom and heard a strange whirring sound that sounded like a ghost. When I opened the door i felt a strange cool breeze and the light came on automatically and the ghostly sound stopped, terrified I did what I had to and went back to bed. The next 3 nights the same thing happened and finally i decided i had to tell my mom no matter how hard to believe it sounded. The next night I woke up I went into my parents room and woke my mom up and said, "you have to come with me and see this it's really important," Half asleep she murmured, "oh what is it can't it wait until the morning?' I pleaded, "no you have to come see, our bathroom is haunted by a ghost when I go in the middle of the night I can hear a ghost sound then when i open the door I feel the cold as it swoops through me and the light comes on automatically." She yawned and said, "oh so that's who's been peeing in the refrigerator."
So I stayed at home for Halloween when I suddenly hear a knock on my door. I open and I see Penandes! I was confused and asked him why does he not wearing a costume, and he said he doesn't need to. Then I realized that he's a ghost, and gave him 3 candies. Enjoy the candies Pruno!
boy; wanna hear about my dick? never mind it's too short. girl; wanna hear about my pussy? fuck no you won't get it.
Never take a person canoeing or kayaking if they had a cerebrovascular accident. They’ll hear the one word they hate the most. “STROKE, STROKE, STROKE”
Did you hear about the Chinese student?
Me neither.
When you ask your friend'Can I hear a joke. ̈ ̈Sure ̈ ̈What do orphans and orange peels have the same. ̈ ̈What? ̈ ̈They both get thrown out
Want to hear an abortion joke, or any joke for that matter? You have that option, and you can thank your mother for that. But that's a question that will never be heard by an aborted unborn baby, whose only option was death. And that's no joke.
A high school student and his best friend were rushing to class after his best friend caused them both to be late, his best friend asked, "Would you like to hear a joke?" "Sure" he replied. "What do you and your sister have in common?' "I don't know." "Because of me you're both late for your next period."
did you hear about the gay indian who died?.... He was a brave sucker.
Did you hear about the cheetah who robbed a bank? He ran away so fast he almost got away with it, but he was spotted.
Did you hear the one about the Polish elevator operator? He was fired from his job because he couldn’t learn the route.
Why doesn’t Helen Keller go to the beach?
Because she can’t hear the sea.
