What do you get when you light Stephen Hawking on fire? A fried PC.
What happened to Stephen Hawking after he reached Heaven?
Nothing yet. He is still struggling to get up the stairway to Heaven.
How does Stephen Hawking get clean?
He uses Tesco car wash.
Stephen Hawking: like a cross between Nikola Tesla and... a Tesla.
How would Stephen Hawking get rid of the police?
Go to the junkyard.
What motorway lane does Stephen Hawking use?
Hard shoulder.
Stephen Hawking was incredible at poker, he had no tell whatsoever.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite dance move? The worm.
Stephen Hawking said there is no God.
2018 God said there is no Stephen Hawking.
How do you kidnap Stephen Hawking?
Shut off his computer.
What does Stephen Hawking put his food in? A microwave.
If Stephen Hawking was a boxer, he would roll with the punches.
Stephen Hawking is to wheelchairs like Uncle Ben is to rice.
Stephen Hawking was a bit of a hardcase. He didn't let people push him around.
Why is he called Stephen Hawking?
Because he is always trying to hawk up phlegm to clear his throat.
If you look up the word "wheelchair" in a dictionary, you will see a picture of Stephen Hawking.
Wipe your feet before entering, but in Stephen Hawking's case, it is "Wipe your wheels."
Knock knock. Who's there? Beep boop S.t.e.p.h.e.n beep boop H.a.w.k.i.n.g.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite line in Rambo?
"Don't push me."
What did Stephen Hawking say when he rode a bike?
"Hey look...no hands...or legs!"
