Hawking jokes
I love Steven Hawking's stand-up comedy!
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite line in Rambo?
"Don't push me."
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Steven.
Can't you read? It says, "No Hawking."
Wipe your feet before entering, but in Stephen Hawking's case, it is "Wipe your wheels."
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and his wheelchair?
At least his wheelchair can pull a woman.
What does it say on Stephen Hawking's headstone?
R. I. P. Roll in Peace.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite movie? Cabbage Patch Kids.
A woman asked Stephen Hawking to dance, and he replied, "I'm not much good, I have two left feet."
"Then how about Karaoke?"
To which he replied, "I have two left throats."
What’s Stephen Hawking’s favorite food?
His left shoulder.
Stephen Hawking is to wheelchairs like Uncle Ben is to rice.
Stephen Hawking was a bit of a hardcase. He didn't let people push him around.
Knock knock. Who's there? Beep boop S.t.e.p.h.e.n beep boop H.a.w.k.i.n.g.
If you look up the word "wheelchair" in a dictionary, you will see a picture of Stephen Hawking.
Stephen Hawking doesn't go for a stroll. He goes for a roll.
What did Stephen Hawking say when he rode a bike?
"Hey look...no hands...or legs!"
What Stephen Hawking doesn't know about wheelchairs isn't worth knowing.
No, Stephen Hawking wasn't the first man to walk on the moon.
What happens to Stephen Hawking when he logs in to his account on Google when it says, "I am not a robot?"
If Stephen Hawking was a boxer, he would roll with the punches.
Why is he called Stephen Hawking?
Because he is always trying to hawk up phlegm to clear his throat.