What do you call Stephen Hawking when he eats too much?
As fat as Ben Dingley.
How does Stephen Hawking take a shit? He logs out.
You know what really grinds my gears? Robots and liars...for example that Stephen Hawking fella. He sure looks and sounds like a robot!! And a major liar too! If he wanted to show me how smart he really was he would have figured out how to get up out of that four wheeler and tell me how smart he is!!!!!
Did you hear how Stephen Hawking died?
There was a mix up, and he was dropped at PC World instead of A&E!
What is Hawking's number one song? The Beach Boys: "I Get Around."
Don't worry, Stephen Hawking isn't dead.
They have just got to copy and paste his memory onto a USB.
What noise does Stephen Hawking make when he dies? Windows shutting down theme tune.
Who is Stephen Hawking?
These jokes are nearly as dead as Steven Hawkings.
Where did Stephen Hawking go when he wanted to get drunk? The Genius Bar.
Stephen Hawking never wrote a book... it was a Dragon who was naturally speaking.
What happened the night Stephen Hawking came home wasted?
Nothing... wife couldn’t tell.
Stephen Hawking tried joining some music bands, but all of them rejected him... except Daft Punk.
Stephen Hawking was an unfaithful man. He had an affair with Alexa.
Stephen Hawking's death was purely accidental. He clicked “shut-down” instead of “sleep”.
What did Stephen Hawking say on the stairway to heaven?
Oh, fuck! I can’t get up them.
I heard Microsoft got charged, why?
They couldn’t reboot Stephen Hawking.
Why does Stephen Hawking have the voice of an angel?
Because no one has ever heard an angel talk.
Now that Stephen Hawking is dead, the jokes will start to roll in just like he used to.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite type of basketball?
Dribble.
