Hawking jokes
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
When Stephen Hawking died, he saw the stairway to Heaven.
He thought to himself, "Oh God, this is awkward!"
What would Stephen Hawking do to get drunk?
Overcharge himself.
When Stephen Hawking was feeling hungry, he used to call in to his local PC World for a megabyte and some microchips.
Why is Stephen Hawking good at skateboarding? Because he's always on the ramps.
Stephen Hawking couldn't take the stairway to Heaven, he had to take the lift.
What’s made of wood and is zig zag shaped?
Stephen Hawking's coffin.
Why did Stephen Hawking go to hell?
Because he couldn’t go up the stairs to heaven.
Stephen Hawking didn’t die naturally, his carer just forgot to put him on charge.
Stephen Hawking was one of the best scientists ever. Now he's walking up the steps of he... No, he's not walking up the steps of heaven.
A new burger has been invented in memory of Stephen Hawking.
I doubt it will sell though, as it's 95% cabbage.
My phone was at 10%, and my friend said it better not shut down like Stephen Hawking.
What's black and at the top of a staircase?
Not Stephen Hawking.
He died because of a fuck up by the Hospital. Apparently, the doctor said to the nurse, "You can discharge Mr. Hawking now," so she went to his room and pulled the plug out of his computer.
Stephen Hawking always wins musical chairs, as he’s always sitting down.
For Stephen Hawking, why is being drunk and having his power shut out the same?
He blacks out.
What did Stephen Hawking's wife say to him when he came home drunk?
Nothing... she couldn't tell.
Steven Hawking died. I said, "Why? Did his wheelchair break?"
It's weird how Stephen Hawking's last name sounds like "walking and talking," but he could not do either of those!
If Stephen Hawking got into a fight, he could not stand up for himself.