Hawking jokes
Why did Stephen Hawking cross the street?
He didn’t; he never did.
Stephen Hawking must have got a MacBook Pro. End of battery.
Apparently Steven Hawking was a stand-up kind of guy.
Steven Hawking's Sesh Cave, entry 50p, guaranteed Budweiser and ecstasy. Maybe a gram of heroin. You'll most likely see a mental 90-year-old guy absolutely going mental on the dance floor with a Stella in one hand and another on his crotch.
There's a new horror movie about Stephen Hawking.
It's called "Unplugged!"
Have you ever heard Stephen Hawking sing?
"Head, shoulders, wheels and frames, wheels and frames!"
Don't use Head and Shoulders, just use Head; otherwise, you'll end up in the retarded situation Stephen Hawking went through.
What college can Stephen Hawking not attend?
"Stand" Ford University. :3
Stephen Hawking couldn't make it to Heaven because there were stairs, so he rolled down to Hell.
When we die we get sent to heaven, but when Stephen Hawking died, he was sent to the cloud.
Have you walked into Steven Hawking's house yet?
Yeah, neither has he.
A brunette, a red-head, and a blonde are being chased by bandits. They are chased to the edge of a cliff and a genie appears.
"I will help you escape," says the genie, "say what you wish to turn into, and you will become that thing."
The brunette jumps off the cliff and says "Hawk." She turns into a hawk and flies away. The red-head says "Falcon." She turns into a falcon and flies away. Now the blonde is alone and the bandits are getting closer. She makes her decision and backs up, then runs toward the cliff. And...she trips and says "Crap."
The End
Man, I’m so sorry that Stephen Hawking is dead; he was such a good person.
Too bad it’s a staircase to Heaven and not a ramp.
What does Stephen Hawking eat for his breakfast, lunch, and dinner?
His shoulder.
Why did Stephen Hawking make it to heaven?
He couldn't make it up the stairs.
Q) What shampoo and conditioner did Stephen use?
A) Head and Shoulders.
Q) What’s Stephen’s favorite food?
A) Shoulders.
For real tho RIP Stephen Hawking 💕
Sixty years ago, Stephen Hawking's teacher got fired for accidentally making an offensive joke. What was it? Go for your dreams, kids. Reach for the stars.
Why did Steven Hawking die?
A quad rasher ran him over.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite drink?
His dribble.
I'm making a new movie, it's called "Veggie Tales." My star actor is Stephen Hawking.