Hawking jokes
How did Stephen Hawking make it up the stairway to heaven?
Well, he didn’t; they invented an elevator.
How did Stephen Hawking please his woman? He uses a hard drive.
He tried to install a free version of Windows 10.
He drove too far away from the wall, and the cord unplugged.
What’s Stephen Hawkins favourite shampoo and conditioner?
Head and shoulders.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on his period?
Mario Kart.
How does Stephen Hawking get clean?
He uses Tesco car wash.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Someone pulled his ethernet cable (he died of a blue screen)!
Recent attempts to defund Special Olympics have organizers scrambling to come up with more corporate sponsorship... targeted companies include:
Kleenex
Depends
Bicycle Helmet manufacturers
Velcro Shoe manufacturers
Steven Hawkings Publishers
Stephen Hawking died when he ran out of data for the month.
How did Stephen Hawking actually die?
He lost Wi-Fi connection.
Why didn’t Steven Hawking go to heaven? Because it was a stairway, not a rampway.
Stephen Hawking, more like ice cream!
God: “Steven, join us.”
Sees the staircase to Heaven.
Steven: “Ahh, fu-”
Stephen Hawking would be a bad Pokemon.
He'd always be paralyzed, and his only move would be tackle!
Stephen Hawking couldn't drink anything. He'd break if he did.
I was submitting this joke, and I realized Stephen Hawking couldn't.
It had the reCAPTCHA "I'm not a robot."
Who's the best at musical chairs?
Stephen Hawking.
"Did you guys make sure Stephen was plugged in?"
HEY! You guys need to S T O P making Stephen Hawking jokes. He has done so much for the theoretical physics world, and THIS is how you choose to repay him? All 653 of you should be ashamed of yourselves.