Have jokes
What's the difference between a UKIP voter and a shopping trolley?
Some shopping trolleys have minds of their own.
When you’re having the best sex in your life and your grandma says, “I’m not dead!”
Did you hear about the volcano that was accepted into Cambridge?
It was a decision on the number of degrees it holds, which is a lot, because volcanoes have lava if they're active. And ours was.
Have you heard about my new can crushing job?
It's soda-pressing.
My wife and I have been married over 30 years, but don’t get me wrong, we still perform tricks in the bedroom.
I sit up and beg, she rolls over and plays dead.
What is the difference between you and me? I have parents and yours left...
Why are you sitting down to pee? I don't have a good back and can't lift something big.
Have you heard of the work called "ligma balls?"
Q: Why don’t orphans have a personality?
A: They don’t have a person in reality!
People have houses, but I don't have a house because I don't have parents, said the orphan.
My bestie: Are you dirty-minded?
Me: Do I have dirt in my mind? No.
It’s funny my sister wanted to have sex with me.
You so gay you have a fat sis and?
What do women and dog turds have in common?
The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
Why did the orphan drop the soap in prison? So he can have a prison daddy.
What is something an orphan's phone does not have?
Home buttons.
Normal people have a four-head, but bro... you got a fourteen-head.
Kaden wants to have sex with you.
Why can’t the orphan get any of the new iPhones?
'Cause none of them have a home button.
Badminton: Your breath is so bad that you have to take a mint before you go on Fortnite.