Have jokes
What’s an orphan’s favorite phone? An iPhone 14 'cause it doesn’t have a home button.
Why can't the orphan run past third base?
'Cause the orphan doesn't have a home to run to.
I have always been scared of stairs; they're always up to something.
When you're working in the Twin Towers, but you have to turn your computer to airplane mode.
Why can't orphans make dad jokes? Because they don't have one.
What do dark humor and food have in common?
Some get it, some don't.
I don't have a carbon footprint. I drive everywhere.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t have a home to run to.
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?
Friend: Why?
Me: Because they don't have a mother or father's day.
Why can't orphans get a job?
Because they don't have a home.
What’s the difference between a pile of babies and a Tesla?
I don’t have a Tesla in my garage.
What does a rubix cube and a dick have in common?
The more you play with them the harder they get.
Him: Hey girl, do you have pet insurance?
Her: Yes, why do you ask?
Him: Cuz I'm going to bang that pussy up!
You can get the park in the park with you if I have park in your car, and I will be there in a couple of hours. Would you be able to pick them out at your house, and I will pick you up, and I will be at your place at your convenience. I can get them in a little while. I’m at the park. Bye.
As a son, I am so worried about the phone call message that my mom got from a member of The CDC. It was on speaker, so me and mom both hear. The message told my mom that she needs to personally isolate because two of the new symptoms is having big titties and a great personality.
Stop with the emojis. They kinda just make the joke cringy. For example: How many ppl 🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷 does it take to have 🥒🍑🍑🍑🍑🍑???? Well, it takes at least 1 🤷 and 1 👰 and they make a perfect ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🖤. See how cringy it is. I mean sure, it's a dumb example, but still, just at least less emojis.
His neighbor asked Hodja,
"Do you have some forty-year-old vinegar?"
"I have," answered Hodja.
"Would you give me some? I need it to prepare a medication," said the man.
"No, I won't," replied Hodja. "If I had given some to everybody who asked for it, would I have it for forty years?"
Yesterday, I tried to help a little girl by a road stop crying. I asked her where her parents were, and that made her cry harder. So then I asked her where her house was, and she said with tears, "I don't have one." So I got her in my car and drove her to where she said she was living. It was an orphanage.
I only have sex with suicidal bitches because that pussy [is] limited edition.
Why are quadriplegics so unsympathetic? Because they only have feeling in 10% of their body.