Have jokes
How do you turn a straight guy into a gay guy? Well... for starters, you grab that ass of his, drag him into the bathroom, and tell him to suck my long, big pineapple, and thus you have yourself one straight guy converted into a dick-sucking machine.
I have something on my lip and I think I’m taller than you.
"Who am I?"
Me and my friend went to the park. After a while, we grabbed our little princess and said, "It's time to go, sweetie." But before we could go, someone said, "Stop them, they have my daughter!"
Can we have a party in space?
First, we need to planet ;)
Get it? "Plan it" = planet.
Come on guys, it's not nice to make fun of autism. I mean really, the Riot devs try their best, but just because they have autism does not mean you can make fun of them. Make fun of them for something else, like their Down syndrome.
What turns a girl on more than having sex with her?
When she finds out that you have a vibrator too.
I have two heads, four eyes, and six ears, what am I?
Ugly.
Have you heard about the corduroy pillow cases? They've been making headlines.
Why doesn't Santa have kids? Because he only comes once a year.
"Dustin Jordan Manna should have been an abortion."
I love Muslims, they are great at parties!
They have the best fireworks.
Doctor: "I have good news and I have worse news." Patient: "Well, what's the bad news?" Doctor: "You have one day left to live." Patient: "What news could possibly be worse?" Doctor: "I've been trying to contact you since yesterday!"
Brian was shopping at a mall. He hopped onto an escalator. Next to him were two people having an argument. Eventually, one of them pulled out a pocket knife threatening to stab the other. Brian murmured "Well, that escalated quickly..."
What’s worse than giving women rights?
Having them. In the first place.
Have I told you the joke about the airplane? Ah, forget it, it probably just went over your head.
Q: Why do Norwegian ships have bar codes on them?
A: So when they come into port they can Scan-Da-Navy-In!
Why can’t moons walk?
'Cuz they have no legs, stupid!
What’s the difference between a dumpster full of dead babies and a Lamborghini?
I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
Why do mountains get so big?
They have no natural predators.
I have some jokes about popcorn.
Nah, they're too corny.