Have jokes
After a long labor, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, “Ma’am, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. What would you like?” After quickly thinking it over, she responds, “I’ll have the bad news first, doctor.”
The doctor replies, “Well, I’m not sure how to put this, and I’m sorry to have to tell you, your child has red hair.”
Relieved, a smile spreads across the mother’s face. “Doctor, if that’s the bad news, what’s the good news?” The doctor replies, “He’s dead.”
Kate: Can we have a threesome?
Trevor: Sure.
The lights go off and Trevor starts doing what he's supposed to be doing, and then he feels something going up his back end. He goes to punch the person behind him, but then he turns on the light, and it was Kate behind him, and he's been fucking the guy the whole time.
Try to make a joke, but not about yourself.
Well, I have nothing.
Why is North Korea so good at Geometry?
Because they have a supreme ruler.
"Hi, my name is Robert. I have no life. Even my PS4 username is gay lil_bama."
Doctor approaches a patient in Hospital and says, "I have some good news and bad news."
So the patient says, "What is the bad news?" the Doctor replies, "I have had to amputate both your legs." So the patient says, "Well, what is the good news?" The Doctor replies, "I have found someone to buy your slippers."
Why did the turtle cross the road?
We don't know yet.
OOF dislike plz I have no life XD.
All of these jokes are DED sub to pewdipie.
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
102, if you have some alive ones.
What do cigarettes and hamsters have in common?
They can both be dangerous when you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.
Genie: You can only have 3 wishes.
Man: I wish for more wishes.
Genie: You can’t wish for more wishes.
Man: I wish I could.
Genie: ......
What did the icicle say to the snow?
"Why do you have to be so soft?"
I have a lot of eggcellent egg puns, get the yolk... Oh come on, don't be hard-boiled!
What’s the best part about having sex with 23 year olds... there’s 20 of them.
When you have a bladder infection,
You're in trouble. 😜
Why don't skeletons play music at the church?
Because they don't have any organs.
A skeleton walks into a bar and said it takes "backbone" to mess with me, and if you try to insult me, I have thick skin.
What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead bodies?
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
Why do animals have playing cards with foxes?
Because they’re a bunch of cheetahs!
Not all cat puns are purr-fect; some just have their claws.
30 people died in a car wreck before they got to Heaven. God asked for one wish because they died in a tragic way. The first lady, she was obsessed with her looks, so she asked to be beautiful and God granted her wish. The next person didn't know what to wish for, so they wished for the same thing. The guy in the very back was laughing, having a grand old time. Then God got to the person before the last. He said the same, he wished to be beautiful. When God got to the last person, he said, "I want them all to be ugly again."