Have jokes

Sense

They say we have a primal sense, that we can just feel when someone is watching us.

It’s been a few weeks, and it's clear that you do not have that sense.

Orphan

5 views ·

The orphan turned 18, but he was happy because he didn't have to pay rent to his parents.

Orphan

1 view ·

Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?

Because they don't have Mother's and Father's day.

Abortion

48 views ·

Why do more men than women support abortion? So they can keep raping women and the victims will just abort their kids to not have to relive the experience!

Terrorist

8 views ·

A Russian, a Brit, and a terrorist are in an air balloon.

First, the Russian says, "I dare to throw a stone down!" So he does that, but the others don't seem to be impressed. So the Brit says, "I dare to throw a brick down!" So again he does that, the Russian is impressed, but the terrorist laughs and says, "I dare to throw a bomb down!" So he does that and everybody can't believe what they have just seen. So a bit further, they land, and a shocked and afraid little boy comes running up to them. So they ask what happened, on which the little boy said, "I farted and my school exploded."

Cheetah

6 views ·

Why do cheetahs have spots outside of their bodies?

Because they don't have them on the inside.

Plastic

130 views ·

What do lesbians and turtles have in common?

They both eat plastic. (I'm sorry to the lesbians out there; this is a joke, not real.)

Husband

2 views ·

A married woman asked her husband if he saw the future. The husband answered her, "I have no eye, dear."

Bone

1 view ·

"Don't break a person's heart, they only have one."

"Yeah, break their bones instead... they have over 200 of those :)"

Orphan

Orphans have 363 days on a calendar because they don't have Mothers' or Fathers' Day.

Parachute

2 views ·

There were 5 people on an airplane.

1. The pilot 2. The businessman 3. The Minister 4. The school child 5. The Smartest person in the world

The plane takes off, a good, solid 1 hour in. The pilot comes out and says, "OK guys, I have good news and bad news."

"Bad News is the plane is gonna crash. The good news is that I have 4 parachutes."

The pilot says to his passengers, "Well I'm a pilot, I fly planes. People depend on me!" Took a parachute and went out.

The businessman stands up and says, "Well I'm a businessman, I run companies!" Took a parachute and went out.

The smartest person in the world stands up and says, "I'm the smartest person in the world. No one is smarter than me!" Took a parachute and went out.

Now the minister says to the school child, "Well God has given me a good life. I want you to take the last parachute," and the school child has a massive smile on her face and starts laughing all of the sudden and the minister says, "Why are you smiling?! We're about to die!!!!"

And the school child says to the minister, "Well actually [we're] not gonna die because there are still 2 parachutes left because the smartest person in the world just took my school bag!"

Suicide

1 view ·

Kid walks in the door. "Mommy and Daddy, I'm home." Mommy and Daddy meanwhile in their room moaning. Kid runs to them thinking they're hurt and sees something he definitely shouldn't have.

10 minutes later, [he] kills himself.