New Happiness Jokes - Page 11

Listen my friends say i am gay but i tell them i am not because i am not happy in fact i have no life you are my friend i trust you with my life know can you take it

Me: *writes kahoot about me then finishes* Me and friend: *plays kahoot* A question: When is (my name) happy? Friend: *puts a good answer and gets wrong* Answer: Never, only a portion. Friend: Do you need help?

Me: *listening to music under a tree and smiling*

Random person who sees me: Awwww look at him, he looks so so happy ^w^

Me: *actually listening to depressing music that makes me wanna kill and end myself but just smiles to show that everything's gonna be fine even if it won't*

Why did billy kill himself with a tv remote? He wasn't even REMOTELY close to being happy.

Someone broke into my house and took my anti-depressants... I hope they're happy now.

What’s the easiest way to make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail—it’ll be delighted!

I'm just happy no idiots are calling these people fat phobic

Once, a mother worked in an orphanage as a cooker. She had a son, and a daughter. Twins. When she was going to her work, she decided to take the twins with her. They we're happy, they got ready and played with other children while their mother was cooking for other kids. Then, a poor family entered the orphanage. They said they wanted to adopt twins. As soon as they saw the children playing, they notice the womans kids. They said they wanted to adopt them. The manager said they weren't orphans, but before he said it, a teacher accidentally gave them to the poor family under the names of Layla and Logan. The kids we're Kyle and Kayla. They went away with their new children, but the kids cried, they said they weren't orphans and that their mother was in the orphanage, cooking. The poor family didn't believe, they thought it was the children's reaction of getting adopted. The woman went outside of the kitchen, she didn't see her children. She asked the teacher... And when she found out, she screamed and ran outside. She was running at the poor family, when they thought she was a psychopath and wanted to kill them. When Kyle and Kayla looked back, they saw their mother. They swinged their hands so the poor family could let them away. They ran to their mother and hugged her. The poor family got shocked and called the cops. But the mother, she showed the documents and her parent rights. This all explains the worst joke, Yo Momma Lost Ya.

One time there was a happy lil girl then one day her teacher asked how many legs and arms do a pineapple have she said girl: You know those pokey things on it thats how many Teacher says: Thats dumb they have zero. then the next day the girl set a fire in her house and then she burned her legs and arms then she survived went to school then the teacher said i heard your house went on fire and btw you know you don ́t have no arms or legs right the girl said OK then the question the teacher asked yesterday asked the girl again she said what do u call a girl with no legs or arms? the teacher said ANSWER MY QUESTION the girl said OK OK the girl said 13 the teacher said PINEAPPLES DO NOT EVEN HAVE LEGS Then the teacher had to calm down then the teacher said to the girl ask a question whatever u want then the girl said ok and im sorry teacher teacher said its ok i need a break the girl said what do u call a girl without legs or arms someone from the class her name was nia she said a worm she said NO!!! the teacher said CALM DOWN JUST TELL US WHAT the girl said OK then the girl said it.......And yall who is reading my story guess what the answer is before i tell u and btw the girls name is sunny back to story.........she said the answer is A PINEAPPLE then when the teacher was calm she told her to sit down then the teacher read a story The Three Little pigs then the girl went home she got a new house then lived happily ever after

What's the difference between a man's wife and his dog? Lock them both in the trunk for three hours and see which is happy to see you when you open it.

Yo mama so ugly she made happy meals cry.

A young innocent little girl is playing hopscotch and she says you step on a crack you brake you're mamas back and then she step on a crack so her mothers back proceeded to brake slowly then she said you step on a line you brake your dadas spine but the neighbours spine broke and in happiness the thought to be previouse father gets in his car and drive through the garage door...

orange orange orange knock knock orange orange you happy I did not say orange again

So, one day I was walking home from school with my best friend, Sally. She was worried to get home because she was going to tell her mom that Bob, the class rep, got her pregnant eight months ago, and now it was obvious she was pregnant. So I said, “Sally, it’ll be okay, I’m sure she’ll be happy to get a grandson.” “Yeah, thanks, Suzy,” she said to me, then went into her house.

The next few weeks she didn’t show up to school, so I was like, oh, she must be in trouble with her mom. I’ll go check on her.

So I walk up to her house and her mom answers with a baby boy in her hands. “Oh, hello. Is that Sally’s son?!! Can I see Sally?” Her mom says sure, and I go inside, but she leads me to the backyard and I see a tombstone. “Here lies Sally 2004-2020.” So I ask her mom in tears, “Oh, did she not make it through the birth?” And her mom replied, “You could say that...”

Just to get things straight I'm NOT I REPEAT NOT RACIST but this joke goes out to all the people who talk about other people with darker skin than the other person.

Bully: your skin is so black and ugly.( for the 5th time ) Me: I'm so happy you love my skin color! Bully: ew no I don't! Me: then why do you keep talking about it?

My childhood tormentor was at school. I walked through so I could get to class. And then he said, "Hey you donkey." I said, "Thank you, I'm so happy that I'm something, not nothing like you. And I gave him a pink lollipop. He walked off. And I became popular. Or should I say, Lolli-Popular. Sorry