Hair jokes
A man is driving down the road and runs over a rabbit. He slams on his brakes, gets out, and walks up to the flattened bunny. The bunny is obviously expired.
A passing car slams on its brakes and screeches to a halt. The driver of that car runs up to the bunny, pulls out an aerosol can, and sprays the bunny with the aerosol spray. The bunny jumps up, runs a few feet, then stops, turns around, and waves its paw at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around, and waves at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around, and waves at the two men. He continues to do this until he’s out of sight.
The first driver looks at the man with the aerosol can and says, “Wow, that is amazing! What is in that can?” The man looks at the can and reads the label, “Hair restorer, with a permanent wave.”
They are hairy.
Our hairline goes way back before dinosaurs lived.
What's long and not very hairy?
The conga line at the cancer department.
Yo hair so big it took me weeks to find the needle in it.
You think you're funny? Look at your hairline; it looks like a McDonald's sample.
Yo, hairline go so far back they got their own fashion type.
When I saw your hairline, I thought you worked at McDonald’s.
I'm bald.
Yo, hairline is as accurate as my jump shot.
You know you’re going bald when you use more toothpaste than shampoo.
When is the best time to punch a midget in the face?
When he’s standing next to your girlfriend and says your hair smells nice.
Your hairline is so long that sometimes even the president doesn't know where it ends.
Your hairline goes so far back that cars on a highway don't know which way to turn.
Kenneth's hairline [is] friends with Moses.
What is the toughest part of the human body?
Anal hair, all the shit that they go through.
Little boy asked his dad why he was born black.
Father replied, "So the heat from the sun doesn't burn your skin."
Then he asks, "Why is our hair all frizzy like fuse wire?"
"So the coconuts when falling from the trees won't hurt you."
"Then what are we doing living in Rochdale? (England)"
A woman comes from a restaurant and ate a lot of beans.
When she gets home, her husband puts a blindfold on her and says not to take it off. The lady hears her husband leave the room and starts farting really loudly. When the husband comes back and takes off the blindfold, the lady sees 12 people with pegs on their noses singing happy birthday!
My friend's 4-year-old daughter made up this joke.
What kind of poo should you put in your hair?
Shampoo.
You lost 30 lbs when you joined Weight Watchers, and lost another 10 lbs when they shaved your back.