You know you’re going bald when you use more toothpaste than shampoo.
Hair Jokes
When is the best time to punch a midget in the face?
When he’s standing next to your girlfriend and says your hair smells nice.
Your hairline is so long that sometimes even the president doesn't know where it ends.
Your hairline goes so far back that cars on a highway don't know which way to turn.
Kenneth's hairline [is] friends with Moses.
What is the toughest part of the human body?
Anal hair, all the shit that they go through.
Little boy asked his dad why he was born black.
Father replied, "So the heat from the sun doesn't burn your skin."
Then he asks, "Why is our hair all frizzy like fuse wire?"
"So the coconuts when falling from the trees won't hurt you."
"Then what are we doing living in Rochdale? (England)"
A woman comes from a restaurant and ate a lot of beans.
When she gets home, her husband puts a blindfold on her and says not to take it off. The lady hears her husband leave the room and starts farting really loudly. When the husband comes back and takes off the blindfold, the lady sees 12 people with pegs on their noses singing happy birthday!
My friend's 4-year-old daughter made up this joke.
What kind of poo should you put in your hair?
Shampoo.
You lost 30 lbs when you joined Weight Watchers, and lost another 10 lbs when they shaved your back.
Mommy, Mommy! Are we werewolves?
Shut up and comb your face.
Are your hairline and forehead old friends, because they go way back?
You are so hairy, you starred in Donkey Kong before!
You are so hairy, Bigfoot took your picture!
When I self-harmed one day, my mother told me that it cut her deep. We both found that very amusing.
I went to an emo kid who just got a haircut, and instead of saying, "Like your cut, G," I slapped his arm and said, "I like your cuts, G."
Chris Rock: Jada, I can't wait to see you in G.I. Jane 2!
Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song starts playing:
Will: "I got in one lil' fight about my wife's lost hair, she said, 'Will, if you don't do something I'm gonna have an affair!'" 😂😂😂
Jada Smith: Grow some balls!
Me: Grow some hair!
My crush: "I cut 4 inches off my hair yesterday." Me: "So?" My crush: "4 inches is a lot!" Me: "Oh yeah?"
Q: Why do depressed people always have colored hair?
A: That’s as close as they can get to dye.
