What’s the difference between Kendrick Lamar and an orphan?
He has family ties.
HA Jokes
I live next to a kindergarten, and yesterday they had a fire drill. It was kinda weird because normally it's me who has a drill around little children.
Jace: Haha, I won, dude. You suck at Monopoly!
Timmy: Let's play another game. *GUNSHOT* I guess I won!
Jace: *SCREAMS IN PAIN*
Timmy: What? I thought we were playing Chutes and Ladders!
If I had a dime for every time someone has told me to kill myself, I'd be a millionaire.
Hi 👋 ooooo has tyyyyyyyyuyuyu
If a Jewish kid has ADHD, do they get sent to a concentration camp?
Yo momma's so fat, her shirt size has more X's than Taylor Swift.
It's sad when the person that gave you memories becomes a memory.
You know one of the worst feelings ever to exist?
When your parents and friends all still see the happy little kid you used to be...
...but in reality, that kid has been long gone for years. (not my words)
What animal has five legs? A pitbull returning from a playground.
"Octo" means 8 and an octopus has 8 legs... so where did the "pus" come from?
A funny joke:
Knock knock. "Who's there?" Who. "Who who?" Ha, who who, you sound like an owl! "Fuck you!"
My arm has a different texture than the rest of me, lol.
What has 2 legs and loves to play with little kids? The local priest.
Africa has every type of gun but one...
A water gun.
Why is Harry Potter an orphan's favorite character?
Because Harry Potter has no parents, so it’s relatable.
I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!
You know what the difference between Kobe Bryant and Russell Westbrook is?
He wears 0 and Kobe has 0 lives left.
Roast
You have such a big forehead it has a 6 pack on it!
Papyrus: Sans! I heard that a HUMAN has fallen!
Sans: And you gotta bone to pick with 'em?
Donald Trump has been banned from Panera.
