HA

HA jokes

Friend

My friend is gonna release an air strike. There has to be at least 20 confirmed toilet kills.

Day

He never has a bad day because he wakes up on both sides of the bed.

Day

He never has a bad day because he always wakes up on both sides of the bed.

Memes

Game

Jace: Haha, I won, dude. You suck at Monopoly!

Timmy: Let's play another game. *GUNSHOT* I guess I won!

Jace: *SCREAMS IN PAIN*

Timmy: What? I thought we were playing Chutes and Ladders!

Dime

If I had a dime for every time someone has told me to kill myself, I'd be a millionaire.

Kid

What's the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid?

One has a functioning neck.

Cucumber

Riddle me this, Batman, what's long, round, and has cum in the middle?

Batman: A dick.

Riddler: NO NO NOOO! It's a cucumber!

Man

I saw two blind men fighting at the mall. I yelled, "He has a gun!" They both ran.

Memory

It's sad when the person that gave you memories becomes a memory.

You know one of the worst feelings ever to exist?

When your parents and friends all still see the happy little kid you used to be...

...but in reality, that kid has been long gone for years. (not my words)

Octopus

"Octo" means 8 and an octopus has 8 legs... so where did the "pus" come from?

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  • Owl

    A funny joke:

    Knock knock. "Who's there?" Who. "Who who?" Ha, who who, you sound like an owl! "Fuck you!"

    Twin Towers

    Why is the Leaning Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it has faster reflexes than the Twin Towers.

    Difference

    What’s the difference between a cat and a frog?

    A cat has nine lives, and a frog croaks every day.

    Casualty

    "Our all-transgender brigade has suffered heavy casualties!"

    "What? We haven’t even sent them to fight!"

    "They’ve already lost 30% of the unit!"