This guy walked into a pizzeria and ordered a water. The owner called him an idiot.
His girlfriend walked in and ordered a pineapple pizza.
The guy left her and the owner made her leave.
A rich guy and a poor guy have their wedding anniversary on the same day. They meet each other at the shopping complex. The poor guy asks the rich guy "what'd you get for your wife today?" The rich guy replies " I got her a diamond ring and a mercedes" The poor guy asks "Why did you get two gifts for her?" Rich guy says "If she doesn't like the diamond ring then she can return it in her mercedes" Rich guy asks the poor guy " what'd you get for your wife" Poor guy says " I got her a pair of slippers and a dildo" Rich guy asks "why did you get two gifts for her?" The poor guy says " If she doesnt like the slippers then she can go fuck herself. "
I had a new blonde" part's expert" woman call for parts. I needed 2 ought wire for a job. She calls NAPA auto and asks for twat wire.. the part's guy was assuming she didn't know about planned parenthood? .. šš¤£
three guys walk into a room where a man is sitting with an assortment of foods on his plate cause it's lunch time the guys ask the man to do a favor and he says sorry guys I have a lot on my plate!
Guy: Hi, how was your day today. Woman: Good! Guy: *Well I canāt ask her out cause sheās pregnant* Guy: How many months pregnant are you? Woman: What to you mean?!?! Also Iām not pregnant.
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Why did dairy queen and burger king get arrested for copywrite infringement? because they gave birth to five guys.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that does comedy? Sit down comedy
A guy walks into a bar hes like whats your number lad and the women be like 298 777 fatso.com and he walked home depressed
Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road. So I asked him, āWhatās the word on the street?ā
did you see the blind guy trip on a can...... he didint ether
Guys am I funny
"I work with animals," the guy says to his Tinder date. "That's so sweet," she replies. "I like a man who loves animals. Where do you work?" "I'm a butcher," he says.
Your the type of guy to have a whole training arc after a girl wants to fight you
Guy your hairline was the reason adolf hitler said let there be war
i made a deal with satan. i would get a free pass to hell, if i serve as a demon lord. so, see you guys at the end of times!
"Did you hear about the guy who got the left side of his body amputated? Heās all right now."
Guys, stop joking about 9/11. It's just plane wrong.
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bro this guys hairline I saw the other day was no were to be seen
