GUI Jokes

Today I gave a blind guy a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. Since I have no fingerprints, the police said it was suicide. I guess you can say I took care of him!

C'mon guys, 9/11 jokes are just plane wrong.

Gay jokes are not funny, CUM on guys!

A cop pulls a man over and finds out he's drunk. So he asks for license and registration, and the drunk man says, "Can I see your flashlight?"

The cop says, "Just give me your license and registration." So drunk guy says, "Not until you give me your flashlight."

The cop said, "For what?" and the drunk guy says, "So I can shine it in your face and see what an asshole looks like."

Hello guys, imagine if we had no school and we get to do whatever we want without parents telling us what to do! What place would you want to call it and what would the fun things we get to do be? I would call it "Happy world for kids." Leave a comment telling me what it would be called! Enjoy! :)

get this one guys

The image shows a two-panel meme. The top panel shows Lionel Messi holding a soccer ball with text that reads "if i win balonDor again... i will give it to poor people of portugal. -Messi. if you know what i mean..." The bottom panel shows Cristiano Ronaldo running on the soccer field with the text "So they'll have money to PAY THEIR TAXES".

What do you call a guy in a wheelchair smoking weed?

A baked potato.

How are guys and tile floors alike?

If you lay them right the first time you can walk all over them for years.

A guy walks into a butcher's shop and says, "Sir, are you a gambling man?"

The butcher says, "Why yes, as a matter of fact, I am."

"Then I'll bet you $25 you can't reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there."

The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I'm sorry, I won't take that bet."

The guy says, "But I thought you said you were a gambling man."

"I am. But the steaks are too high."

Three guys are walking in a bar. A priest, a paedophile, and a rapist. That was just the first guy.

Q: What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in front of a door?

A: Mat.

A guy went to the doctor and told him that whenever he drinks a cup of tea, his eye hurts. The doctor brought him a cup and asked him to drink. When he finished, the doctor told him: "From now on, take off the spoon."

All of you guys in this orphanage are ABCDEFGHIJK.

What's that? said the orphans.

Attractive, brilliant, cute, darling, elegant, funny, gorgeous, and hot.

What's the IJK?

I'm just kidding! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Guys, stop telling orphan jokes, soon they're gonna tell they're par... oh wait, never mind, carry on.

Three people explored the jungles, one was from France, one from Britain, and the other from America.

While exploring, they were captured by the tribe living there. The tribesmen told the three, "You three have invaded our territory, so we must kill you and use your bodies to create canoes. However, we aren't that heartless, so we'll let you choose your deaths."

So the French guy asked for a gun, pointed to his head, and said "Viva la France!" and shot himself. The Britain guy requested poison and said, "For the Queen!" and drank the poison. Lastly, the American asked for a spoon. The tribesmen were confused but still gave him the spoon. When the American got the spoon, he started stabbing himself, "Try make a canoe out of this one!"