GUI jokes

There was a guy how had a stroke, eh.

He's all right.

When you are f***ing your girlfriend and then she tells you that you f**k like your guys' dad.

Then you f**k your mom and she says the same thing.

What does a Jamaican guy say to an Asian?

Poke me, mon.

What’s one thing that a gay person is scared of?

A gay guy that’s straight!

To start, I'm a big fella in size.

I saw a skinny guy act like Santa, so I went over to him. "You can't pull that off," I said. He said, "Then you try it." He gave me the Santa suit, and I dressed up. He walked by and saw me with 45 kids in line to sit on my lap and tell me what they wanted for Christmas.

One day I was with my mom and we had no money on the credit card, and we live far, and my mom was hungry.

A guy and his friend had a car and asked us if we were lost. We said no, we have no ride, no money, and my mom is hungry. So the guy would take us for a blowjob each, so I was driving the car and my mom gave both guys a blowjob. We had to get out of the car to look for something, then the two guys went in the car and told us we got bad news and good news. I asked what the bad news was. They said that they're not taking us home, so I asked what the good news was. They told me that they fed my mom and drove off. I guess where they left us wasn't a long walk and my mom wasn't hungry anymore.

I like porn a lot. I was wondering if you guys can talk to me.

This guy in a trench coat walks up to a kid, opens the trench coat and has glasses inside.

He says to the kid, “Hey kid, want some extra-see?”

Vegans: Save the Earth.

Normal People: We're trying to, but you guys keep eating it!

You guys asked for a joke? Well, you're in luck, because you already are one!

Why did my boyfriend leave me?

Because he's gay.

But why did he come back to me?

Because I'm actually a guy :-)

Guys, the person that said "suck a dick" was Mase. His real name is Mason, so ya.

Bro, I’m so pissed. There is always that one kid in the class who the teacher helps. I hate that guy in the wheelchair.

A guy walks into a bar with a .44 magnum and yells: "Who the fuck fucked my wife?"

Everybody is silent for a second, then the bartender said: "Mate, you ain't got enough bullets!"

One day I met a blind guy and I said, "You should see Mt. Cheaha!"

Guys, stop making funny jokes of orphans. What, their parents are gonna get mad? Oh wait, continue.

How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change anything.

I am just kidding, you know gay jokes aren't funny, come on guys.

A guy wakes up one morning and is walking down the road, and he smells fish, and he says, "Good morning, ladies!"

Can watersharky and Gwen comment on this? I need to talk to you guys.

A guy with AIDS went into the doctor's room unusually happy. You could even say he was HIV positive.