GUI jokes

Kid 1: Guys, stop making 9/11 jokes. My dad died in 9/11.

Kid 2: Sorry, I didn't know.

Kid 1: He was the best fighter pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.

*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*

What is the difference between the subway guy and a priest?

The subway guy didn’t get away with it...

Have you heard about the guy whose friends teased him because he pays for sex? He doesn't pay anymore.

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  • What did the guy tired of hearing people joke about rape do?

    He killed everyone on this f#cking website.

    A guy runs into a bar and yells, “Quick! How tall is a penguin?”

    The bartender says, “Three feet tall.”

    The guy says, “Oh my God! I just ran over a nun!”

    Guys we should stop making orphan jokes. Their parents will get mad... oh wait... Continue 🙂

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  • A young peasant coming from the field with his scythe on his shoulder notices an attractive young woman that was doing the laundry in a mountain stream, perched on some rocks near a waterfall.

    The guy stops and leans against his scythe, fascinated by the young girl's beauty.

    After minutes of watching her, she loses her balance, slips on a rock and falls all the way down, crushing her head on the white rocks.

    Thoughtful, he puts his scythe back on his shoulder and walks away, saying to himself "Damn, another washing machine destroyed by limestone!"

    Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?

    Poor guy really needs some space.

    Hi!!!! So it has been a very long time, and I have seen that your jokes have been becoming more and more inappropriate.

    Guys, you don't need to be inappropriate to be cool! You are awesome if you like school, and even if you are gay, or anything in the LGBTQ+ category. #PRIDE

    Anyway, I myself am not LGBTQ+, but I don't think people who are should get shamed for it. I love you guys, and stay positive!!!

    An Asian walked up to another Asian that was crying.

    He asked, "Is somting wong?"

    The other guy says, "I was i a noh paking zon."

    What starts with M, ends with arriage, and is every guy's favorite thing? Miscarriage.

    That one never gets old, just like the baby.

    Guys, we need to stop telling orphan jokes, they're gonna tell their parents. Oh wait, never mind, continue.