Grow up jokes

I hated church growing up as a child. It was always standing, kneeling, sitting, standing, kneeling, sitting. I wish the priest would just pick a position and f*** me!

What do you call a school shooting survivor who grows up to be a prostitute on the West Coast?

A Sandy Hooker

Why don’t alligators grow up to 15 feet?

They only have 4.

Dear math,

Please grow up and solve your own problems. I'm tired of solving them for you.

Thanks.

My teacher gave us an assignment, and one of the questions was "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

I answered, "Happy."

The teacher said I didn't understand the test. I said to her that she didn't understand life.

Why did the kid named Jeff become gay? Because he grew up without a father figure. Hahaha, I love dark humor!

There were three babies in a mom's stomach. One baby asks, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" The other baby answers, "A doctor. I want to help people. What about you?"

"I want to be an engineer. I want to make things. What about you?" he asks to the third baby.

"I want to be a hunter."

"Why?" the other babies ask.

"I want to kill the snake that spits on my face."

People who are afraid of pedophiles... need to grow up.