What did the tomato say to the empty ketchup bottle? "GOD STAY AWAY FROM ME!"
Sex is like math.
Subtract the clothes, add the bed, divide the legs, and pray to God there is no multiplying.
The reason why God and Jesus have eternal life and the power, aka (holy spirit) is to control us, take our free will, and our eternal life, which is our heaven. Our time!
Just to show up, in the nick of time for the second coming in full costume ready to judge us. Them spending a lifetime preparing their big speech, their excuse of them hiding this whole time.
Lol, Surprise!
Joke being on them.
As we all stand there and are there to judge them, doing what they said they were made for.
Taking our eternal life back from Satan and the Devil and sending them to their home they created themselves!
HELL!
P.S. With a little extra punishments!
God, aka Mr. Universe said he was gods gift to this earth but where is he?
When I was at work, I saw this kid crying. I said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working in an orphanage.
Why don’t babies pollinate flowers?
God chose Plan B.
What did Satin say to God??
"Bitch, what the fuck you looking at?"
If you argued that God was a woman, 49.8% of the US population would try and raise Hell.
Just to ask the other guy.
Talk about a male supremacist religion.
yall really need to stop hating on pedos!! At least they drive slow in school zones! god.
Me: (Jaiden) Why are you crying? Do you know where your parents are?
Orphan: *Sobs* "No."
God, I love working at an orphanage!
Nothing is funny about the Name who died an agonizing death, was mocked, spit on, and humiliated all because we were sinners and God saved us so we could be free from the punishment of sin.
Jesus is sinless and perfect and loving. How dare you!
Uh, six teachers are annoying. Thank God I am not getting picked on at school or on this website.
A man walks into a bar. He sees a family court judge, his wife, her lawyer, and a police officer. He gets on his hands and knees and prays to God out loud. The bartender says, "Why are you praying?" He says, "Because I just saw the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse, and the bible tells me when I see them the end is at hand."
Orphan: I'm an orphan.
Technoblade: BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
Ahh son of a bitch I got the truth stuck on my shoe?!?! The truth: breast feeding is like have ong sex with your baby. God damit I hate the truth!
You're so ugly that every time you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."
God: Who ever kills Hitler will go to heaven.
Hitler: 👌👌👌👌
God: 😩😩😩😩
What do teen mothers and their unborn babies have in common?
They're both thinking "Oh my God, my mom's gonna kill me!"
Why Satan didn't stop sending messages to God about hell?
'Cause they made a juice out of him.
Bible Verse of The Day - For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children.
—Romans 8:15-16
