Girls jokes

An emo girl walks up to a tree to give it a high five... the tree left her hanging.

I was sitting next to this really hot Thai girl on the bus, and all I could think to myself was, "Don't get an erection, don't get an erection..." But she did.

A 13 year old girl is having a sleepover. One of her friends asks, "When was the last time you had an orgasm?" She replies, "3 days ago." Dad comes bursting in, "I KNEW YOU WERE FAKING LAST NIGHT!"

Damn girl, are you a smoke detector? Because you're super annoying and won't shut up.

I got mad at my sister's boyfriend, so I fucked his girl.

The reason that girls are not allowed in boys' treehouses is because girls can't keep their mouths shut about boys taking turns sucking each other's hotdogs.

Girls are like blackjack; you shoot for 21, but I keep hitting 14.

What do TVs and girls have in common?

They both show you stuff when you turn them on!

Why do people like dating us emo girls? Because of the texture on our thighs.

Q. How does a girl from Alabama know when her mom is on the rag?

A. She can taste it on her brother's cock.

I told the emo girl that I bet she's jealous of the hanging lights in the gym.

Girl: How much do you love me?

Me: Count the stars in the sky.

Girl: Aww, it's infinite!

Me: No, just a waste of time.

When I saw a girl sitting on the ground crying, I asked her where her parents were. She cried louder. That’s why I like to volunteer in an orphanage.

What do you call a girl with an hourglass figure? -- A waist of time.

Did you hear about the 100 centimeter girl?

I’d really like to meter.

Max likes his girls like he likes his wine. 7 years old and locked in his basement.

When a mute girl gives a hand job, is it oral?

Girl: Daddy, I've been a bad girl.

Priest: For the last time, it's "Father, I have sinned."

A pedophile lures a group of Houston Girl Scouts with "Hey girls, would you like some candy?" They all agree and follow him to his neighborhood. There he offers them some more candy and they follow him to his house. Once again he offers them candy to go in to his house. In the lounge he offers them candy to go to his room. As he leads them up the stairs one of them pipes up and says "God, I hope we get laid before we get diabetes."

Girl: I've been an orphan since I was three.

Boy: Knock knock.

Girl: ...Who's there?

Boy: Not your parents!